I haven't been doing so good.
By thedataminer
@thedataminer (515)
United States
October 17, 2013 1:18am CST
I been very sad and troubled over I suppose I could call it estrangement with some of my older siblings. It's kind of a long story. I'm not excited about my life. I try to count my blessings daily but I still feel so gloomy. I feel like something devastating has happened or is going to happen although each day seems to go by just fine "Thank you God" or thank goodness. I wanted to relocate somewhere that I would feel mentally better living in. I did get to relocate but not to where I wanted since it would of cost more then I could afford. I've been living with big disappointment the past few or so years. Now I almost feel like giving up on my dreams. And I worry allot about things I can do nothing about like the poor farm animals, other pets and animals and people to. And the state of our planet. I kind of feel like I'm alive but empty, dead inside. 
1 person likes this
2 responses
@thedataminer (515)
• United States
19 Oct 13
Yeah I shouldn't of listened to a certain someone. This someone put a guilt trip on me and led me to believe she really cared about me. I didn't think of myself; my son and I travelled many miles back to the small city we thought we had escaped for good. And I did it thinking my son and I need to be around the family allot more. So we went back there, we both regretted it (me and my son) and spent 13 very miserable months in another old trailer that we'd lived in before. And family problems only got worse, not better as I'd planned and hoped. We got to go to 1 Thanksgiving and she (one who told me to move back closer) got mad over something very trivial and didn't welcome us or come and pick us up for Christmas. And the next year we missed both holidays to. So for the whole 13 months we saw the family just a few times. You are right. It's best to do what you think is best for you. And in a way you're doing a good thing, not a selfish thing. From now on I will live where I want. We did manage to move but we didn't have money to go far - we got to the next state and to another kind of uneventful city. It's a little better but it's not where me and my son wanted to end up at.
@daisy9637 (11)
• Guangzhou, China
19 Oct 13
so sorry to hear your feeling, find something u are real interested and do it. what u are worry about is rare to come to truth. so, cheer up
@thedataminer (515)
• United States
19 Oct 13
I watched online allot of documentaries on food and health on Netflix and learning certain truths about the US and other countries to; these things made me ever more depressed and sad. For I had learned about things that have been happening for years (decades). I had some big disappointments the past 5 years. I got problems with my dysfunctional family (siblings). The holidays are coming up and I know that none of them will ask or care if I'm present. I don't think I'd want to go there anyhow. Me and my adult son. And my other son usually goes with my Xhusband to his families. That's ok - I got no problem with that. Me and my 2 grown sons relationship is good. Oh my hobbys are things I do online. My depression is clinical, however, the pills I've had to take to prevent me having as many migraines do nothing for my depression. Actually I think they contribute to me feelings just aweful. Especially when I wake up I feel pretty bad; I tend to feel somewhat better until sleep time.
@thedataminer (515)
• United States
20 Oct 13
I'm sorry I forgot to thank you for your kind words. Thank you for caring.
