its complicated

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at the start we flirted He looked very interested and take my heart both shy We just looked and say little word constantly it would be next to me his body is turning against me very friendly, charming, not handsome looking, but a special, intelligent When as a child I drew my dream boy, tall, skinny, black hair, dark eyes and skater. when I saw him i immediately know that is mr. right but my best friend liked him too, so I didnt push, i didint flirt, because i respect her, profoundly all of a sudden I find out that she's dating a girl, our acquaintance, who litterally trow at every guy, one day she thrown at him and when I looked, I laughed, and when he saw he " escape" then I was disappoint I cried Then I started dating other boys, his friend who constantly was flirting with me, and my first boyfriend. all colleagues, they were saying that we were great together, butit was a mistake. is okay as friend, but is not the guy for me. we are slowly starting to break up. -Mistake was that I started with him, but not with my crush after that we saw each other, and still felt his gaze,they look beautiful together as couple -I will gave you some examples * I quit smoking, he is stopping * When I say that I like something, he immediately agrees with me * Very nice to me, but some times very rude * For his birthday day he was adjust chairs, I walked through to go to the toilet and he with his head bowed quietly: "sory." maybe because for the chairs, it was interesting because in the appartment it was 15 friends, ind i only heard him * He talked with a friend when I asked him about what hi puts his head down and had a gentle smile, shy, and explain.. * when we hang out, he is aways near, expecially when drunk * When I'm in the mood and he ful drunk and Im talking with someone else he comes along, but does not say much, for example, when we sing he comes next to me, or in front of me, his body language says it all. eyes and feet. hands. chest, or on the sides where he gentle touch me, shoulders with shouders, never tuched me with a hand * We played the board game, I looked across the table to find the instructions. he was on my left side and intensly watched me ( gazing) for about 5 sek .seemed endless to me,then i realise that he stilll has felings to me * Still has that humble look , he has that confidence, but near me , not so much * If he has the option he touches me in a very careful way * I say nonsense,he laughs * he never salutes me, * Very helpful *when we paly board games, he puts melancholic ove song, not a lot, bit its strange because boys are the magority * when i start to quietly singing, he starts too ( he has a beautiful singing deep voice) Well, that's a brief description, I will report back *yesterday i was dancing, when he sees me he turns his back, than he kissed his girlfriend in the grass, when they end he came to me and my friend, who were singing (great fun) and he come along, always at the beginig he is confused and come on. we sing, it was great, he gently touched me with his arms. then hi gir come along in he completeli shout off. the girl is like a mosquito, always around him, dont leave him alone. is the "new age positive tipe", but i know that she has a lot of emotional gabage, and is showing different faces what do you think? every day when I see him, I love him more and more i just miss him a lot we known each other for several years, but we had debates les than 20 min some times I think that im delusional, and i just put it in my immagination but some times it is very obvious (maybe in my eyes) What to do? when I will be single, I will be more aproachable to him. I wonder what he will do... at the beginning I will anonymously send him cookies and one day i will ask him if he liked it