Losing people
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
August 20, 2015 4:23pm CST
It is both frustrating and sad to me that what weighs on my mind enough to make a second post here is the loss of a friend. Every time this happens, the experience is different. I'm angry at the loss - she leaves children. Her family has lost a mother, a sister, a daughter. Her best friend has lost a close bonded relationship, and all of us that knew her were touched by her life.
Unlike some people, I don't really think it's selfish to be sad, and miss someone. When you were part of each other's lives, how can you help but miss them? Wouldn't it seem odd if you DIDN'T? Besides, how is there any right or wrong when it comes to grief and loss anyway? We all grieve differently, and what makes sense to one person might not make any sense to someone else.
The third thing here is happiness - because ALL of my memories with her are fabulous. She was a happy courageous person who never quit, who never got dealt a bad hand and then curled up on the ground crying. If something rotten happened, she just went there with her mind made up to make the best of it.
How do you deal with loss? I'm trying not to let it steal my life, once again. It always makes me think about treasuring what I have, as we all should. You don't know when it might be your last play together, your last trip, your last night out, your last hug.
3 people like this
2 responses
@excellence7 (3647)
• Mauritius
21 Aug 15
Losing people is a reality of life. We can't escape this. I think the best way to deal with loss is to accept the loss. We fail to accept what we lose and we keep on living in memories that hold us back and from moving forward in life. I know it's easy to write and difficult to do but we must eventually try. I would say, we must affirm loudly the loss. For example 'Yes, I have lost this person. It's a reality. I accept it'. And moreover, we must look at what made the person you have lost great when he or she was alive. We must speak about he or she has accomplished instead of what he or she has not.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
21 Aug 15
I used to just remember and hold tight to the touch the person had in my life... like when my grandmother passed.
But in the last 2.5 years I've lost a lot of people and my grief was strong but something odd happened... I got mad. I got mad at (and now I have tears typing this so forgive me a bit) the people who were left behind and how they acted. I got mad at mom for leaving me so fast and hard. I got mad about being right about how other people would treat me... they forgot that she was my mom too. I got mad.
I got so mad and sad that I forgot to pay better attention to what I have... until my son faced a really hard surgery and I was reminded that they need me. Now I am still sad and mad but I'm more here and dealing better.... except when I find out people I care about are fighting hard things that have taken some of those I love... then I cry a bit, deal with it, and pick myself up again.
There were days that I didn't want to be here anymore but I know I'm needed so I keep on healing.
