Epic Panty Hose Horror Stories

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Another discussion (on slips) rabbit trailed into another fashion that stunk- panty hose. I got to thinking about my panty hose horror story (and I KNOW I am not the only one out there with one, those things were terrible. I won't say are terrible, because I refuse to wear them now, so I wouldn't know. If my legs can't be bare, well, I have dress slacks. Anyways, I was broke, and had to go to a funeral. All of my panty hose but one set of really old worn pairs had runs the size of Mount Everest in the legs, where it would visible. So I put the old pair on. They were an ugly unnatural darker color, but whatever, legs covered. And oddly rather comfortable. I should have known right then that I would be crying Houston We Have a Problem very soon, becuase when were hose ever comfortable? As we stood up for a hymn, or whatever for the umteenth time, I realized my hose were sliding down...no they were more falling off. What elastic they had had...was gone. I'm up front with the family, and the middle of like the second aisle. There is no sneaking out to fix this (if there was a fix).... Besides, by the time I walked to the back they'd be at my ankles and I would be doing a rather embarrassing waddle. So next time we sat I tried to tuck them in my undies, thinking, ok, that should keep them up. Yeah you can imagine how well that went. Gravity was still stronger, about lost both. For the rest of the event I just casually kept a hand on my hip to hold them up, until we could get to the car and I could let them simply fall off.