Feeling out of place?
By Cahaya
@cahaya1983 (11116)
Malaysia
October 6, 2015 3:50am CST
Monachopsis.
That's the word I learned yesterday.
It's defined as "a subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place". Like you don't belong to your surroundings.
I've never felt that feeling persistently, although certain situations do make me feel out of place. When I'm among people whom I can't relate to, for instance. Or at a loud party. I guess that's normal.
But apparently some people experience this feeling constantly, in all kinds of social setting. On the train, at school, at work, even among family members. I can't imagine what it's like, to feel like you always don't fit in. Difficult, for sure.
What sort of situation would make you feel out of place?
12 people like this
15 responses
@sofssu (23660)
•
6 Oct 15
I don't feel comfortable when I am among a huge number of people in a social gathering and it is noisy and vulgar. I also don't feel comfortable with people who put on airs.
These are situation experiences not persistent feeling.. Thanks I have learned a new word too.. its easy too remember mono - chop - sis
3 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 15
You're welcome! Mona-chop-sis actually, with an "a". 
Yes I'm like you, I can't stand loud noises and vulgarity. It really makes me uncomfortable.
Yes I'm like you, I can't stand loud noises and vulgarity. It really makes me uncomfortable.2 people like this
@sofssu (23660)
•
6 Oct 15
@cahaya1983 Haha.. I now see that.. Okay,.. mona (lisa) chop (ped) sis. 
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
@sofssu Haha that's a good (or creepy?) way to remember the word.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
Yes I think that's the most common situation that would make me feel awkward too.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 15
@simone10 Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand why it would be uncomfortable for you to be around such people after all that experience.
@softbabe44 (5815)
• Vancouver, Washington
6 Oct 15
if someone didn't like me i wasn't involved in a conversation that i walked up on,if i felt uncomfortable,if i didn't want to go somewhere but was involved anyway if someone kept giving me not so nice staring or dirty looks you get the most uncomfortable feeling don't know if you should stay or go.
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
Yeah I understand. I'm usually okay with starting a conversation but only with the crowd that I feel comfortable talking to. It's easy to feel out of place when you feel you're not welcomed.
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
7 Oct 15
Everyday I've been alive I have felt out of place. It's the worse feeling in the world to feel like there's no place you belong. It's like being in the matrix and knowing that the world is wrong but there's no way to change it or get out of it.
It's nice to have a home base, but I'm never 100% relaxed even in my 'home'. It can't just be paranoia, because I have always felt this way for as long as I can remember. Probably why people targeted me all the time.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
It's bad enough to feel out of place in certain occasions but to feel that way continuously? I can't imagine how difficult that must be.
I'm curious though, when you said "the world is wrong", is there any particular thing about people and places that make you feel like that?
1 person likes this
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
7 Oct 15
@cahaya1983 It's mainly due to the body. It's like having a conduit not strong enough for the power source. Imagine putting a fusion reactor in the hood of a car. You can't use the power and it starts destroying the car if it is used.
It's also everyone. They are being limited and kept from their true potential as creators.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238349)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Oct 15
Interesting one! I seem to feel comfortable and out of place at random times. I'd think I'd feel out of place at, say, a Britney Spears or Chris Brown concert, but then I might suddenly (and randomly) hit a comfort zone. In general, I feel slightly out of place in the Bay Area. The people here seem angrier/unhappier than I'm used to (back in Illinois, Iowa or Montana).
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 15
That's very true. Living in certain areas can give you that feeling. I've lived in a few different places and some of them did make me feel out of place. It wasn't just the people, even the atmosphere felt strange.
2 people like this
@troyburns (1405)
• New Zealand
6 Oct 15
Thanks for the new word! This feeling was never one I had when I was younger, but it's something which often hits me now.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
I'm sorry you feel like that often, Robin. Is there any particular way you deal with it? I read that some people distract themselves with things that they can enjoy doing alone and don't involve others.
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
That's interesting. I wonder if there's anything about the surroundings that make you feel like you're in the wrong time?
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
6 Oct 15
I think is normal to feel that way, in certain situations or circumstances, as those you pointed, for instance. But it must be hell to feel that way everytime, everywhere, Thankfully I am an easy going person, who adapts well, in a wide range of situations, but sometimes I think I don't fit in, as when I am among intolerant people, you know, those who think they have the only truth, and don't even let you speak your mind, I always run away from people like that.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
You're lucky to be a person with an easy going attitude, then. I also tend to avoid social settings that would cause me to feel uncomfortable. I'd rather spend time alone than being in such situations. But yeah it must be very difficult for people who have to deal with that feeling constantly. Based on what I read it can lead to social anxiety if it's too serious.
I also tend to avoid social settings that would cause me to feel uncomfortable. I'd rather spend time alone than being in such situations. But yeah it must be very difficult for people who have to deal with that feeling constantly. Based on what I read it can lead to social anxiety if it's too serious.
So, always think positive . @SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
6 Oct 15
@cahaya1983 Oh well , before going on a party , you more or less know what type of people will be there . So if they're not your kind of people to talk to , then you might as well just stay at home . 
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 15
@SIMPLYD If I have a choice I would. I used to be part of a committee for a student club and the majority of the members were fond of parties, so it was made part of our organization's activities. So in that kind of situation you're kind of sucked into it.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 15
It doesn't always work in all situations though. Like when I'm with a bunch of people who talk about politics or sports the entire time, for instance. 
1 person likes this
@cgalavia (1436)
• Philippines
7 Oct 15
It is difficult indeed!whenever I feel I am out of place,I'd rather want to be out sight,Find a place where I fit most but I think one can fit himself to a particular group if he has a confident or a self esteem to show that he can catch up too.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
Yeah it makes you wish that the floor or wall would just open and swallow you or something. That's how I feel sometimes. Some people adapt to awkward situations better than others but at one point I'm sure even they would slightly have that feeling of not wanting to be there.
Some people adapt to awkward situations better than others but at one point I'm sure even they would slightly have that feeling of not wanting to be there.1 person likes this
@wetnosedogs (1533)
• United States
9 Oct 15
crowded places would be mighty uncomfortable for me.
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@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 15
I hate crowded places, too. I don't know how people can stand being in concerts events like that.
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@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
10 Oct 15
i can't imagine such prolonged myself, though did go through a rough bit when i got floxed...a most horrid feelin' indeed. folks in general jest make me uncomfy i fear. bein' 'stuck' with a bunch in large gatherin's, thoughts 'f bein' confined with 'em fer flights 'n such jest makes my skin crawl 
@intal_carl (299)
• Quezon City, Philippines
7 Oct 15
When your friends are talking about something and you cannot relate to what they are talking about.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 15
Yeah that's a common thing. And not just friends, for some people, it happens even when they're among family and relatives.
@intal_carl (299)
• Quezon City, Philippines
7 Oct 15
@cahaya1983 I also agree with that.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11383)
• United States
7 Oct 15
I don't like being in very crowded areas. I try to shop at odd hours so that I don't have to fight my way through the isles. I am also uncomfortable at parties when I don't know many people there. I guess I am somewhat shy. 
