How can WE help a friend facing divorce or loss of a Mate?

@Hatley (163859)
Garden Grove, California
October 26, 2015 3:31pm CST
I often am inspired by others posts. Talklng about friends going through divorce or loss of a mate,I just realized that for me my coworker friends were most helpful when they were just there for me. They did not gush "Oh Im so sorry etc" but they let me talk then sometimes suggested ways to make the grieving less painful, one dear friend told me' "just take it one day at a time, you can handle that then it will get better gradually." an that is what I did., That would work for the friend who is going thr divorce too, just be a good listener amnd also suggest she just take life one step at a time. Your take fellow m ylotters
10 people like this
9 responses
@TheHorse (176989)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Oct 15
I think you hit the nail on the head with "Just be a good listener." Not too heavy on the advice. Just listen.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 15
yes thats it as they us ually are not wanting advise just someome to listen and to care.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50544)
• Centralia, Missouri
26 Oct 15
it never hurts to simply ask, do you just need to let it all out? Or you want me to offer up some advice. Sometimes we need to talk, sometimes we need an opinion
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 15
thats it thats what I was trying to get out thanks sometimes the person will ask for some advice sometimes she j ust wants someone to l isten to care and it s ure helps when your friends just p ull you lnto a hug.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Oct 15
@Jessicalynnt he he I got it yes my lot wo uld not lie that one but I know what you meant. Iknodw we all grieve a bit differentlyh but just being there for somone shows we care.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
27 Oct 15
@Hatley yeah, we dont always need to offer what we would do, sometimes people just need time to b....er that word isn't ok on here, um, complain and rant and vent! lol
2 people like this
@peavey (16943)
• United States
26 Oct 15
When I was divorced, I felt totally abandoned by my family. I know now that it was because they didn't know what to do or say, but just being there is the most important thing. It doesn't hurt to ask if there's something they need. As a suddenly single Mom, I could have used some help with ordinary things.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 15
thats it and when we listen we can also say if theres anything yo u need Im here for you just tell me what it is?.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (201731)
• Chile
27 Oct 15
I think that the only thing we can do is to be there. What I mean is hug if you are a hugger, show the person your love. There are no words
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Oct 15
that is it as we cannot always feel just what they are feelikng but just being there is so mujch comfort and help then they took up a collection and paid haflf m y rent I was so overwhelmed tith their kindness. the best staff I had evedr wor ked with;
1 person likes this
@marguicha (201731)
• Chile
28 Oct 15
@Hatley How nice of them! It is certainly moving.
@gudheart (12675)
27 Oct 15
It is so hard to know what to say and how to be there for them. I think as long as you are there for them and and a shoulder to cry on you are doing what they really need for you to do.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Oct 15
hiGudheart that is it really and I remember the oldestone of the fri ends of the Library just took me in her arms and said you have been through a shock but it will get better. That really helped me so much.
@Missmwngi (12822)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Oct 15
I am so poor in the choice of words to use in such a case and so would gladly go with listening. i can do that pretty well
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Oct 15
@Missmwngi yes and thost times we need our friends to just lksten to us help;s so much
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 15
yes I do think that the other person will a ppreciate that as she is needind someone to just listen.
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12822)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Oct 15
@Hatley Sure,there are times when we just want someone to listen as we let it out of our system
@jugsjugs (13004)
27 Oct 15
I tend to listen to friends that have gone through a break up, or like yourself a loss of a loved one. You are right that you do have to take one day at a time, I also feel that remembering even a small thing can also put a smile on your face of fun times, silly things that you done with the person, or even pet names helps. I was devastated when my dad passed away, for a long time.It was not until I thought of him no longer suffering that I realised we shared a special bond that some people never have the chance to have with one another, thankful of the time we had together and the love we shared.
@marlina (155234)
• Canada
26 Oct 15
That is good advice.
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 15
hi@marling yes I think its good to be more of a listener and if the other person needs to talk be there for them always.
@Tampa_girl7 (49620)
• United States
27 Oct 15
Just to have someone listen to us is a lot of comfort.
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Oct 15
yes it really is as so many of can talk a stream but are not good listeners at all.