Would You Ever Date Someone Who is Terminally Ill?
@crewgirl (191)
United States
October 26, 2015 4:42pm CST
I'm currently watching a movie called A Little Bit of Heaven with Kate Hudson who plays a terminally ill woman whose doctor initiates a romantic relationship. The doctor quickly falls in love with Hudson. Hudson responds, "What kind of guy falls in love with a dying person!" She gets angry at her doctor because deep down she knows that she loves him too and it's painful to know that she won't be around to experience that feeling for much longer. The idea of dating someone who is on their deathbed is quite common in literature and film. Take The Fault in Our Stars, for example. Two teenage cancer patients fall madly in love even though they know they are both very ill. In the novel, one of the cancer patients writes something on the lines as this: getting hurt in this world is inevitable, but we do get to choose who we allow to hurt us; I am happy with my choice, and I hope she likes her choice too.
Would you ever date someone who is terminally ill? What are your feelings on the matter?
12 people like this
16 responses
@antonbunot (11091)
• Calgary, Alberta
26 Oct 15
Well, as long as her illness is not contagious, I don't mind!
2 people like this
@carexing25 (1818)
• Philippines
27 Oct 15
right it wouldn't matter as long as the illness doesn't affect us physically.
1 person likes this
@carexing25 (1818)
• Philippines
28 Oct 15
@crewgirl super like this movie.. and i've been trying to search for the book
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36504)
• Toccoa, Georgia
27 Oct 15
It would depend on the situation if I would date them. I do remember seeing that movie you mention with Kate Hudson.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36504)
• Toccoa, Georgia
28 Oct 15
@crewgirl If I really loved the person, the amount of time would not matter.
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
I was also in a platonic relationship and it was heartbreaking knowing that I could never be with the guy. I tortured myself by continuing to be a friend even though I was secretly in love with him. So if I met someone who was terminally ill, and I was really attracted to them, I might torture myself all over again. I wouldn't know for sure until I actually encountered the situation though. Thanks for responding!
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
27 Oct 15
@crewgirl It makes us think of how fragile life can be. We get bored, we spend too much time in waiting rooms, elevator rides and waiting for something, the buses. When all the while another day awaits us. But when an ending is right around the corner then we really see just how precious our time is and most don't even notice it.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
27 Oct 15
Not because they were dying, but if I liked a girl enough then yes I would want to be a part of her life and hope that I would help bring some happiness to take her mind off the pain
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
27 Oct 15
I think love cant be helped so if I were to encounter someone who was terminally ill and fell in love well yes, it could happen I guess.
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
27 Oct 15
@crewgirl I personally would not, but again, if it happened, I would accept the pain.
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12926)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Oct 15
In real life that is a difficult one,however if the said person got ill when we were already in relationship i would be there for them and continue to love them
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12926)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Oct 15
@crewgirl They only push you away but just because they don't want to get hurt and then again leaving would make them feel like you never cared
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@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
@Missmwngi That's a common perspective and I've considered it. Sometimes in a relationship, you have to be selfish to be happy. Why give love and stay with someone who isn't respectful to you anymore? I believe I would just be wasting my time if I kept giving my all in a relationship, only to be pushed away.
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
I would like to think that I would stand by and continue to love someone who became terminally ill if we were already in a good relationship. I can't be so sure though. Sometimes people going through difficult times like to push people away. In the movie, Hudson tries to push her doctor away because she'd rather be alone. Thankfully, the doctor fights for her and Hudson finally submits and realizes it's better to be with someone. I would definitely fight to maintain the relationship, but if my significant other wants me to leave and won't fight for me, there's only so much I can do. I'd probably leave.
2 people like this
@allknowing (130092)
• India
27 Oct 15
I will not bend backwards and try to fall for someone who is terminally ill. But in the course of our encounters - such as dealing with projects together, if I feel love developing then I suppose as they say love conquers all.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
27 Oct 15
I've sat and thought about this one, it really is a hard question to ask and I guess there are many answers. How long do we have to live?
Meeting someone and knowing they don't have long to live than maybe I would stand back and say to myself, no I couldn't do it. It's hard enough for me losing someone who you love and they are still alive.
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
28 Oct 15
@crewgirl Yes I have seen the movie and it's amazing that he's still alive. It's also amazing that his wife stayed with him for so long. We all need that interaction with someone, that closeness, that love which you might not get from someone who is terminally ill. I want to have that closeness, I want to have that touch I want so much from a relationship, so looking at it from that point of view than NO I couldn't. I would have stand back and say no I can't fall in love with you, it would be too much me, it would hurt too much.
1 person likes this
I try not to get involved with people who do dangerous stuff, and may die any day
but i don't know if i can really follow through with that @crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
I probably wouldn't get involved with someone who did dangerous activities either. This reminds me of Steve Irwin, "The Crocodile Hunter," who was married with a child and took his family on adventures while he wrangled dangerous animals, like crocodiles and poisonous snakes. Eventually, Irwin's luck ran out and he was killed at a young age by being pierced in the chest by a stingray barb. His family always stood by Irwin's actions and I've never understood that.
1 person likes this
@Macarrosel (7498)
• Philippines
27 Oct 15
Oh, I have no idea for I never thought of doing so.
1 person likes this
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
It's hard to say really until you encounter the situation. Sometimes I can't resist a charming smile and a sense of humor, so even if I know the person is dying, I might think that they are worth getting to know anyway. Thanks for the response!
@carexing25 (1818)
• Philippines
27 Oct 15
i don't know but if it would make me happy then i'd go for it.. but never forget to accept the consequences
1 person likes this
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
Sometimes it's just so easy to really like someone even though the consequences are right in your face screaming, "THIS PERSON IS GOING TO DIE AND IT WILL BREAK MY HEART!" Usually people don't start relationships thinking, "This person is DEFINITELY going to hurt me." Thank you for your opinion!
1 person likes this
@japneet20 (249)
• New Delhi, India
27 Oct 15
I would like to stay with them as much as possible. I know what the condition is but then I'd like to give them all the love I have and create this amazing relationship even if we have less time.
1 person likes this
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
So you're like Jane Wild in the movie The Theory of Everything. 
Great movie; I highly recommend it. I really commend you because I'm predicting that could be really hard to handle. I always dream about spending a lifetime with someone, not days, weeks, months, or a few years. Thanks for your opinion!
Great movie; I highly recommend it. I really commend you because I'm predicting that could be really hard to handle. I always dream about spending a lifetime with someone, not days, weeks, months, or a few years. Thanks for your opinion!1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 15
I guess I technically am, since my boyfriend has kidney failure, and is on dialysis. They can keep him a live a long time though, and if he gets a transplant, even longer.
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
27 Oct 15
Hi, Dawn! I remember you from back in 2008. I'm very sorry to hear about your boyfriend. That's tough. I wish him luck in this difficult time. May I ask, were you aware that he had kidney failure before you started dating him? I'm just curious.
