Agoraphobia

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I was going to use the technical definition of the word agoraphobia to help me describe what this word means, but when I looked it up I realized that there are a million different definitions of the word. So when people ask me what it means, I simple say, it's the fear of large places. But I think that's the most genetic thing I can say. So let me take you into my world for a minute. I can leave my house. I can get in my car and drive anywhere you want.....on a side street or none busy streets. But if you want me to go anywhere from there then we have a problem. Let's take Wal-Mart for example. I might be able to go to the front door. I might even be able to go into the foyer, but any further then that and thats when the problems start. The panic attacks start to build. And I run back out the door. If I'm with someone I trust, I might be able to make it through the store, but there's so many variables that go along with it. This is only the small example. To some this might sound silly. Some might even think they understand. I've been this way since I was 18. In which I was housebound for the first 4 years at least. I couldn't even get as far as the sidewalk in front of my house. Now I'm able to drive anywhere you want me to drive, including out of town, but unless I'm with someone I trust, the car is as far as I go. I've come a long was then I was 17 years ago, but this is something that can never be cured. Medications help. Therapy helps. Exposure therapy helps. And working everyday to get better helps. This is only a peek into my world but it might explain some of my posts like why going to the mall was a success for me today. And how everyday can be a struggle...But staying positive is the best way to be!