The Va-J-J is not a good hiding place dear shoplifters / myLot

Commerce, Georgia

December 18, 2015 8:50pm CST

I still can't stop laughing. I don't watch the news. The news I get comes second hand through Face Book. Anyway, to cut to the chance, a Popular Mart starting with Wal had a shopper who wanted a can of cookie dough and a candle without paying for them. Smart woman that she was, she inserts both up her Va-J-J. Minutes later the heat from her anatomy got to be too much for the cookies. They exploded right inside of her. She had to be taken to the hospital. I'm not sure if she was arrested or not, but I imagine she was. A shoplifter is a shoplifter. Sigh.... The photo is my teddy bear and me.

8 people like this

7 responses

The Horse

@TheHorse (238429)

• Walnut Creek, California

19 Dec 15

Oh dear. Quite funny if true. I hope she's OK. If she's that broke, do you think she baked up the cookies anyway?

2 people like this

Yuki

@yukimori (10192)

• United States

19 Dec 15

Somehow I have the feeling that she wasn't in a position to be baking much of anything after that... I wonder if the hospital had to discard it as biohazardous waste...

(And why do we not have a 'laughing till crying' emoji available? This post deserves it!)

3 people like this

Yuki

@yukimori (10192)

• United States

19 Dec 15

@OreoBrownie Oh, yeah. Facebook is pretty bad for reliable news... at least as far as most people's friends seem to be concerned.

I'm lucky enough to hang out with a few people who teach English at the post-secondary level, so I know most of the stuff that pops up on my feed is fairly reliable. Up until they start sharing the satire...

Morgan

@OneOfMany (12150)

• United States

19 Dec 15

I guess next time she will insert cold packs first to keep everything a cookie-friendly temperature!

2 people like this

Charlene Sally Collins

@OreoBrownie (3755)

• Commerce, Georgia

19 Dec 15

Haaaa! That is so funny. I guess it's not true after all. But I still find it pretty funny.

1 person likes this

Morgan

@OneOfMany (12150)

• United States

19 Dec 15

@OreoBrownie I'm glad you liked it. :)

Patsie Hatley is Deceased

@Hatley (163772)

• Garden Grove, California

3 Oct 16

ouch ouch wow what the devil was she thinking ha ha funny and sad too bet it 'caused some serious damage to her inners too wow

Yuki

@yukimori (10192)

• United States

19 Dec 15

I... um... I'm speechless. And suddenly irrationally afraid that my cookie dough will explode on me, even though it's stashed safely in the fridge where it belongs.