I Am A Woodpecker

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From the day I was born, I was taught to smash my face into trees every time I saw one. The headaches I incurred were brain-shaking intense. I was choking down all the ibuprofen I could get my hands on, but that wasn't enough. I developed an addiction to alcohol and I picked up the disgusting habit of smoking. I ended up in WPAA (Woodpecker Alcoholic's Anonymous) and I am doing much better now. The photo is one taken in my drinking days, I was barely hanging on back then. The one thing I never got over, however, is the fact that the guy that named us woodpeckers is the most unoriginal, unimaginative person that has a marvelous grasp of the blatantly obvious. He should never be able to name stuff ever again. Photo: Pixabay