Well, I Don't Want To Be!
By Catherine
@bluesa (15022)
Johannesburg, South Africa
May 4, 2016 1:48am CST
Well, I don't want to be nice, or diplomatic or cheerful! Have you ever felt like saying that?
We are raised to behave. To hold certain emotions in check. Then we blame people for being fake?
When we want to be sad we are told it is a sign of weakness, so we paint on a smile, and we blame people for being emotionally cut off?
When we don't like somebody, we are told we have to make like we do, otherwise it is rude. We are told, at least be pleasant or polite to them.
Yes, it is as deeply instilled in me as anyone else. I just sometimes wish I could say, I don't want to be nice, diplomatic or cheerful! So like I asked, have you ever felt like saying that? Or, have you ever said that to anyone?
18 people like this
21 responses
@BelleStarr (61463)
• United States
4 May 16
I have felt like it many times but I don't give in to the feeling. We are thought the same thing, politeness is important.
4 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@BelleStarr , yeah, same here, the lessons taught while growing up are well instilled.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
4 May 16
we have our own distinct characteristics, and it is just fine with me if others think otherwise.
3 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@ridingbet , yes we all certainly do have our own characteristics. Many times I say, each to his and her own. :)
1 person likes this
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
4 May 16
It is like going to a party and someone asks you how you are and you say not having a good day and they then say you shouldn't have come to the party.
I think we are right to say we can be ourself.
A problem arises when we are not nice, not cheerful and not diplomatic to someone that has not been the pain in the ____ that caused us to feel that way in the first place.
2 people like this
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
12 May 16
@bluesa Of course it depends on the party in question. There is a difference if we are there for some function like the bosses assistant and we must fulfill some obligation. I like to be myself at casual parties and it is always better when people know you.
If I can be allowed to be myself sharing how I feel is never considered a disgrace unless someone else sees it as such?
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@Bluedoll , oh no, definitely talking about a social party with friends, not a work event, sometimes one hopes a party with friends could cheer a person up, but that is not always the case. And yes, I suppose if we are with real friends, who understand a certain mood or reaction then we should have the luxury of being ourselves, and not having to watch every little thing we say.
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@Bluedoll , one could always say they went to the party to try to change their not good day into a good day, but yeah, unfortunately a bad mood does seem to follow a person. I always try to make sure the right person gets the right mood, but yeah, that's not always a given either.
@sol_cee (38669)
• Philippines
4 May 16
I know someone who can barely hold her temper. If she's mad, it'd definitely show on her face. Nothing wrong with that. It's okay if we are outside or hanging out but once inside the office or at work, I'd still go with proper decorum. Showing outburst and acting unprofessionally is well, very childish.
3 people like this
@Macarrosel (7498)
• Philippines
4 May 16
That's we call, right manners and good conduct. Being instilled by our parents to our minds. Well, if somebody is rude to me then I can be rude to them too. But if they're nice and good then I am good to them also.
3 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@Macarrosel , yes it is called manners and good conduct, and I still find it difficult to be rude to someone, even if they are rude to me. But now and again my temper kicks in and I tell them they are rude.
@pufitzamison (626)
• Romania
12 May 16
Yes i wish i can be like that...but i can't...becouse i thinck more of other's insteed me and better i suffer then other and that mackes me depress sometimes.
1 person likes this
@pufitzamison (626)
• Romania
16 May 16
@bluesa that is verry true and i hope i start do it myself.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
16 May 16
@pufitzamison , it is tough when we are not able to express ourselves as we would like. Many of us rather keep quiet than upset others, but sometimes we must take care of ourselves too.
@garymarsh6 (24005)
• United Kingdom
4 May 16
I guess it is the same when someone asks how are you? In reality most just say fine or Ok thanks. Some go on and on about their bunions, ingrowing toenails, indigestion, haemorrhoids, prolapses and all kinds of things that you really do not want or need to hear about! I guess we all conform.
2 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@garymarsh6 , oh my goodness, that is certainly a way of looking at it, thank goodness I haven't had many experiences like that. But, yes, we all conform, and I'd probably sit through a conversation about bunions.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
5 May 16
Like everyone I'm on my best behavior most of the time. I avoid people I don't like, and situations I'm not comfortable with. Now that I'm old and the kids are grown I do my own thing, but you are right, we are trained to be polite. (I wonder what happened to Trump when he was growing up...)
2 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@PainsOnSlate , yeah, we are trained. Ah-hem, haha, goodness knows what went wrong with the Donald 
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (77137)
• Philippines
4 May 16
I've been told that I was stubborn because I don't usually follow the norms. I have my own mind and i do what i want. I just make sure i don't step on anybody's shoes or violate other people's rights.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@toniganzon , it always amazes me, how people label people that don't behave the way it is believed a person should behave. You are just being your own person, living your life your way, stubborn should not come into it. Keep being fabulous you.
1 person likes this
@jillybean1222 (6406)
•
11 May 16
there are times i have felt like saying it like it is, for sure
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@jillybean1222 , yeah, you and me both. Ugh, darn manners. :)
1 person likes this
@HebrewGreekStudies (1646)
• Canada
7 May 16
I try and be tactful, but sometimes...well, sometimes tactful does mean speaking uncomfortable truths:/.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 May 16
@HebrewGreekStudies , unfortunately so many of us are raised to not speak uncomfortable truths. So, it is good if you do. Though it can't be easy.
1 person likes this
