Fat (Journal#1)

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Society will tell you if you're fat then you're worthless and lazy, that you do not deserve a man who's way out of your league because they're reserved for beautiful people. You know, the ones that are tall and skinny, who's collar bones stick out of their chest and a thigh gap for the whole world to see. We are conditioned to think that those are the only things that make a person pretty and worthy of being seen on television, social media, and fashion magazines. Fat people don't belong in that world, they've been told to wear big jumpers, baggy jeans, the type of clothes that cover every inch of their body. Just the world fat sounds so negative and ugly. It's as if the media refuses to acknowledge that these people are a part of society. It's one thing to say they don't belong in the model industry, but to ignore them completely, it's obscene. The reason why this attitude is so dangerous is because of the impact it has on a person mentally. It creates insecurities and destroys your self esteem. When the world focuses so much on body size you start to look at yourself differently. Your more conscious when you walk down the street, filled with guilt, you start watching what you eat and possessively counting calories, these thoughts keep you up from your sleep and you no longer think clearly. It's everywhere you go, at the shops, in the school, at the library, people will shame you, blame you, have such hate when they speak, and you hear it so often that you start to believe that you deserve all of this hate. You think maybe the problem is me. Society has made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. From a young age girls and boys growing up hating the body they're in, feeling guilty when they binge like they have committed a sin, thinking the only way they'll ever be happy is only, just for one day, that you knew what it was like to be thin. Believing that will take all of your problems away, but in reality it doesn't work that way because happiness comes from within, and to achieve that you need to love the skin you're in, any other way you just won't win. Just an endless cycle where you keep sinking and sinking. We're obsessed with body size. There are countless videos online how to lose weight quickly, which is so unhealthy because this is a process and these things take time. According to magazines I have the perfect body, when in reality I am far from okay. I am medically underweight, just because I can fit into a size 0 doesn't mean that my life is great. We're lead to believe that if you're skinny then your life will magically fall into place, and everything will be happy and okay. A generation where you starve yourself thin, so consumed by expectations and self hate. Made to feel like you're not enough because you don't look a certain way. It's all just a sick game society has made and you can either play and be full of shame and self hate, or you can be brave, realize your own truth and walk away. Live life where you have the ultimate say. If you want to lose weight just make sure you do it the healthy way, for the right reasons, and understand it's a process day by day. Learn to appreciate and love yourself, and give yourself a chance to be happy. Wake up and realize that life should not be this way.