When The Past Can't and Won't Leave You Alone

Phoenix, Arizona
May 21, 2016 7:16am CST
The past seems to be something that is always there. It chases us like the plague. I have been thinking about the past very much lately. There are just certain things that stick out in my mind, with my ex. Actually, both exes. (Both are ex-husbands). Let me make this simple and start out with ex-husband number 1. I think I have mentioned him before. Our marriage seemed perfect, but one day he came home and said he was done. He wanted out. So he took me to my moms and left our daughter and I there. A few months later, I found out that he had met someone. This woman turned out to be a drug addict. She passed away due to an overdose. Now let’s go ex number 2. This one was a big (insert bad word here. Looking back, I realized I must have been crazy. Anyway, the big that is now bugging as I look back, is that I was under the impression that while we were separated, we were supposed to be working on ourselves and our marriage. During this time, he was sleeping with other women. When I found out, I knew then that he wasn’t wanting to work on anything. So , I decided to start dating. That was when he tried to work on things. The funny thing about all of this is, he considered me dating other men (while separated) cheating. But him dating another woman wasn’t. Again, I can’t really say why this randomly popped into my head. I will attempt to post more in the next few days.
7 people like this
9 responses
Siddrokr
@siddrokr (163)
• India
21 May 16
I'm really sorry for that.Let me tell you a thing. These things are really very bad and they dont go out of our mind,really they wont. In order to forget these things you will never really try to forget these things,because more you try to forget more these will bug in your mind. You try not to think about them. Well are you engaged in some activities?Are you dating somebody now? just put 100% of effort on these things so that automatically you dont get time to think about the past.
1 person likes this
John Roberts
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
21 May 16
Sounds like you have had some terrible luck with men. Have you examined why you chose them?
John Roberts
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
23 May 16
@star_disgate Your second husband didn't start losing interest until you started losing weight? It's usually the reverse. When a person has had more than one really bad relationship. you have to start looking at oneself because it isn't a coincidence. I know I am ultimately responsible for bad choices.
Star_disgate
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 May 16
@JohnRoberts His ex, who is now my best friend says that he lost interest in her when she lost weight as well.
capricorn_love
@capricorn_love (66)
• United States
21 May 16
Now it is time to focus on YOU and your health & any child(ren) you have. 8 hour sleep, work, exercise and become or stay healthy which means leave guys alone. You may need a year long or lifetime counselor to "Get Healed". You have a family you, your mom and child & that's all you need for the next 12 months. Good Luck!
Star_disgate
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 May 16
I can't really leave guys alone, due to the fact that I am living with one. Sleeping can be easy at times, because I am on so many medications that make me tired, but at the same time, the pain I have from my medical issues makes it hard. Right now I am working with several doctors so that we can get the pain as well as my asthma under control. I can't even walk to the car from the house with out the pain hitting me hard. All that will be for another post because things are that bad with the pain.
NR2
@crystalvisions (440)
• United Kingdom
23 May 16
Sounds to me like you have been controlled by men who are happy to take advantage but then feel left out if you start doing the same to them.
shruti rawat
@BlissfullySilent (476)
• India
21 May 16
i dont blame you... thats a helluva heavy past!! i guess past is there to haunt us only and we should learn from it.... i feel its totally normal to dwell in it...but not get depressed by it ...i heard somewhere when you dont accept things..it will always bother you...but you should remember you have your daughter and yourself to love.give yourself priority girl !! works wonders
Shivam Chauhan
@ShivamChauhan (81)
•
3 Jun 16
That's true. Our past keeps haunting us no matter where we go, where we live or what we do. I know how you feel right now. Just to make sure you don't feel like you are the only unfortunate here, I am sharing this story of mine. I was in relationship with a girl in college; a girl who was a dream of every student in our campus. Things were all right till the day I left my college to join other one as I had got a better opportunity to groom myself there. The day I left for other city, she broke up with me just because of a simple,stupid reason,"I cant entertain a long-distance relationship." Hell!! Was she crazy?? Yes, I think. When I joined another college, I met a girl who promised to keep my broken pieces in place. I was reluctant to enter another relationship first, but she made me fall in love with the sweetest of the ways she used to talk to me. And then, history got repeated. She cheated me 4 times in a row in 2 years. Each time I used to forgive her when she started crying and gave one more chance. And then she cheated me for the 5th time, and finally I let her go, moved on and have managed to be single till now. And now, here i am, a successful Chief Manager. The gist is, you need to let go of those who hamper your progress ASAP.
41Combedale
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
21 May 16
Going over the bad things in the past is like reliving them, also it keeps those memories alive longer than necessary. Think of something else when such thoughts randomly arrive. It works.
saba shekh
@sabashekh (1218)
• Bhopal, India
21 May 16
Sorry for you .. Its just that past chases us like our shadow
A A
@anya12adwi (6059)
• India
21 May 16
Because may be you need to vent the suppressed emotions regarding your past out. Get out of past.