Movie Review - Beyond The Poseidon Adventure

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spoiler alerts Before Roland Emerich got into film making, Irwin Allen was the king of the disastrous disaster movie, a genre largely launched by the success of his first Poseidon Adventure in 1972. Though that was preposterous in its premise (A completely upside down passenger cruise liner could not stay intact or afloat) the drama was tense and exciting. Its dwindling cast of big name stars worked well together, especially Shelley Winters and Gene Hackman. Despite the novel Allen based the movie on ending with the ship sinking, Allen talked the writer Paul Gallico into penning up a sequel, which Allen then corrupted into this 1979 movie, which ought to have been called Beyond The Pail, or Beyond Belief, or just Leave It Alone Irwin! The first movie left the SS Poseidon on the brink of sinking. Water was lapping the hull right by the hole cut into it for the six survivors to get out through, but we never actually saw the ship go under. Beyond starts by introducing a salvage crew led by Michael Caine (the king of I don’t care as long as they pay me turkeys with movies like Jaws 4, Island, and Ashanti on his charge sheet too). The pre-Meryl Streep darling of the Oscars, Sally Field ought to have known better than signing up to assist him. They have competition from Telly Savalas, who is actually seeking the ship’s gold and a stash of nuclear plutonium (yes, a passenger ship bearing deadly secret military cargo – doh!). The first movie had the ship flipped over by a Tsunami during New Year’s Eve celebrations, right on the brink of midnight, but now the salvage crew find survivors who were apparently in the ship’s sauna when she went 180. Why were they not at the end of the year party? Passengers found include Shirley Jones, Peter Boyle and Slim Pickens. The topsy-turvy still sinking ship becomes just a backdrop now for gun-fire and explosions as Allen just throws in everything that springs to mind, like a child playing with Star Wars action figures who suddenly brings his toy cars and plastic dinosaurs in on the action too. The only mercy was that Allen finally blew up the Poseidon, not allowing her the dignity to sink, so a second sequel was not an option. (two dire remakes followed though, or three if you count Cameron’s Titanic). Arthur Chappell