Borderline Personality Disorder

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This is something I've been diagnosed with. The term 'Personality Disorder' sounds pretty scary but what it means is that it's a long standing pattern of behavior, not just something that can be treated with medication. Borderline is the most commonly diagnosed personality disorder and there is a big link between developing it and having a history of childhood abuse. Borderline personality disorder causes tons of anxiety revolving around relationships and emotional instability. For me this makes life very difficult sometimes. It means I have huge abandonment fears and at times I will want to push people away before I think they will do that to me. The fears inside my head can be so extreme that I'll act very irrationally and people don't understand where my behavior is coming from. It can be a challenge for people to be around me when I'm having one of my bad times. I need a lot of reassurance that people aren't going to run off and ditch me – things like that. The overwhelming emotions are another part of it. People with BPD feel emotions extremely intensely! This means I love hard, but I also feel hurt, sadness, etc just as hard. These strong feelings have led me to self harm at times because I don't know how to calm down what I'm feeling. Recovering is a long, slow process. I've been working on it for 3 years and I have a lot more ways to go.