The Will

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Johnathan Edwards, industrial magnate, died of a heart attack. He lived to be eighty-five years old. Anthony Belcki, conducted the reading of the will. Johnathan's family was on hand as the will was being read. To my brother Carl who managed the day to day affairs of my business. You were loyal and a great manager. I bequeath twenty million dollars and the keys to the family business. "A great and generous man," said Carl. "You will be missed." To my daughter Shelly who cared for me and looked after my daily affairs. Your radiant smile and good humor kept me alive longer than I should have been. I bequeath two million dollars and my dog Snoozie. "Daddy, I miss you so much. I will take good care of Snoozie. I love this little doggy." To my wife Eleanor who loved me and stood by me even during the most difficult of times. You always listened to me and spoke your mind. Your compassion and care were two of your most beautiful traits. I bequeath the home, the three cars, and five million dollars. Kisses and hugs in heaven. "A good man. A wonderful and devoted husband. Tears cannot say how much I loved you." And to my son Sherman who never worked a day in his life. You sponged off me from the moment that you graduated from high school. You spent money like there was no tomorrow. You went to college and partied every night. Every business venture that you pursued was a colossal failure. To you Sherman I bequeath the game of Monopoly with fifty thousand dollars of Monopoly money. Sherman reacted with complete disdain. "But that is absolutely worthless." A note was attached regarding this bequeath. "As I expected, you found this generous gift to be considered worthless. Well it fits. It is worthless, just like your entire life, worthless. But you might want to save the Get out of Jail card. I think that you are going to need it."