The Crazy Bear Lady and the wild pig

October 28, 2016 3:09pm CST
I had just purchased my Subaru wagon (used of course. It's a 1998) and was driving home one night and suddenly in front of me was a huge herd of wild pigs! I hit the brakes, but couldn't avoid hitting one of the pigs. It was a 300 pounder and it went sailing about 30 feet from the force of the impact. My car wasn't seriously damaged so I headed on home, carefully skirting around the rest of the pigs. I got home and called my boyfriend. He is a retired cop and the first thing he said was "did you report the accident?" I told him "NO" and that I didn't feel that it was important since it was a car versus pig accident. He wouldn't let the subject go, so I gave in and called the Highway Patrol. The lady at the other end of the phone started asking questions. Was there anyone in the car with me? "No". Was anyone injured in the accident? "No" Were there any fatalities? "Yes". She immediately inquired "if there was no other vehicle involved and no one in the car with you and no pedestrians, WHO DIED? My reply "The pig". She then asked how I knew the pig died, did I check the pig? I replied "The pig wasn't moving and from where I was I couldn't see the chest heaving from the pig breathing." The lady then asked "are you sure it wasn't breathing?" I replied "I didn't go up and take its pulse or listen for a heart beat let alone get close enough to be sure it wasn't breathing. I'm sorry but I can't run faster than a pissed pig!" The lady asked "How do you know that the pig would be pissed?" I answered, wouldn't you be pissed if you got hit by a car and thrown about 30 feet? I then stated, my boyfriend insisted that I call and report the accident for some reason. I am doing what he told me to do. I just wanted to call and report that I accidently killed a wild pig that made the mistake of playing in the road. Suddenly the lady started to laugh, and commented: "I am glad we're recording this, it's gonna be a hit at the Christmas party! You're the first person who has ever called to report a fatality accident that involved the death of a wild pig. I was about to call for the ambulance to go out and pick up the body...until I realized that it was a wild pig! Suddenly we both were laughing like crazy, it was a bit odd on my part to call to report that I had killed a pig. Then the lady recovered enough to ask if I took the pig home for the meat. I replied that I wouldn't try to heft a pig into the car, besides the fact that if the pig wasn't totally dead I didn't want a wild pig coming unglued in my car. I'm sure that I made their Christmas party.....I didn't really want to call the accident in, after all who wants to admit that they hit a wild pig? But at least we got a good laugh over the call. And I did about $100-$150 damage to the car.
2 people like this
1 response
• Belton, Missouri
28 Oct 16
That's hilarious!! Men!! Smh they always need to get their way. Both my brothers are with the police and I know they would have made me do the same thing if it was me. At least the operator had a great sense of humor!!
1 person likes this
• Belton, Missouri
29 Oct 16
@CrazyBearLady I could see the need to move the wild pig out of the road but normally nobody calls, I think. My one brother is a police office in Upstate NY and when he first started he would get calls to remove deer off the road that have been hit. I wonder how those calls went.