Story - The Wrong Superpowers

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A second writing exercise set by Maya Anna Ozolina at a workshop I attended involved exploring superpowers and this was my contribution. Captain Squawk speaking here. I guess I owe you all an explanation and apology for my absence in your hour of darkest need just now. It dates to my origin. I always wanted to be a superhero, but I wanted to swim really fast and breathe underwater. I was terribly disappointed to find myself growing wings and feathers instead of gills. I thought I might be like seagulls and other birds that dive after fish, but I discovered that water is my kryptonite. I dare not swim, or even drink water and other liquids as they burn into me like acids. My arch enemy Doctor Shower-Burst something of an advantage over me. I can fly over water but I dare not make contact with it. On a bright sunny day, I can rescue you. On cold wet days, call the emergency services. I can’t even drink coffee or take a bath. I have grown to love flight of course. I think of it as swimming in the air. I feed on worms and bread-crumbs just like the pigeons and sparrows do. I also take out the evil worms of the criminal underworld. I’m the proverbial early bird, striking just before dawn, swooping on the crooks as they try to return to their lairs with their booty. It gives me lots of evidence to present the courts for their felonious villainy. My powers came to me when my private plane collided with a flock of geese that had come through the radiation generated in the Three Mile Island nuclear disaster. My plane disintegrated and plummeted to the ground. I found myself watching it go as I sat on a cloud. I was just thinking I’d died and become an angel when I realized clouds are basically big bags of rain and water vapour. I plummeted through without my halo, if I ever had one. Only beating my wings furiously fanned me dry and lifted me airborne again before I hit the remains of my aircraft. I saw one man was injured by the wreckage of my plane. I used my taloned hands to lift the busted propeller off him. He was the first of many rescued by me. Ever since then he has pushed a few breadcrumbs through my letter box to show his gratitude for assisting him that day. Now word reaches me that Shower-Burst has unleashed giant molluscs on New York and the people cry for my assistance. Alas, I have had to fly South for the Winter. Hopefully Spiderman can sort things out for you until my return in the Spring. Good luck – Squawk. Arthur Chappell