Bipolar Type I with psychotic features

@cpefley (1941)
San Jose, California
January 2, 2017 4:20am CST
That is technically my psychological diagnosis. It sounds much scarier than it actually is. Well, sometimes it is scary. I can't really watch scary movies and I have to watch myself and make sure I'm not letting things I've seen on TV or read in books interfere with my personal relationships in life. However, it makes me extremely creative. I know the difference between fantasy and reality, even if that line gets blurred once in awhile. I'm not psychotic, but I do have some of the symptoms of psychosis. It helps when I am writing. I think that if you have a mental illness, finding an outlet, such as writing, art, etc. can help you cope with feelings that are beyond your control. For instance, last night when I came home from seeing The Rocky Horror Picture Show with my daughter, I had much more energy than my husband, who had to go to work in the morning. He said to me, "I know you want to talk all night, but I have to sleep." It hurt my feelings...deeply. Way more than it should have. I know that he was just tired, and it was in no way a reflection of our relationship being in trouble. But I have been watching a lot of The Office. In particular, near the end, when Jim and Pam start to have problems (spoilers). My head went wild and started catastrophizing the situation and I started to mimic the feelings Pam was having. It is hard to sit back and look at my own situation objectively and make sure that I'm not creating a problem where there isn't one. So...my feelings got hurt. He loves me. He shows me that everyday. We are not Jim and Pam...in fact, we are better, because we are real.
3 people like this
3 responses
@dodo19 (48167)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
2 Jan 17
It can't always be easy for you to deal with. But it does seem as though you do understand your situation and what causes you to react in certain ways, which is always good. Know what causes what can definitely you. It also seems to help you manage it, in the best way that you can.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
2 Jan 17
It is good you can write to analyse what happened. It must be hard to live with this illness. We have one family member with a bipolar diagnosis so your sharing helps me understand a little how his mind works.
@shubhu3 (36463)
• New Delhi, India
2 Jan 17
It is a great thing that you have an insight about your concern. You should watch more of positive videos and movies that will strengthen you. Avoid any negative aspect since it can have a detrimental affect.