Overcome with it
By Shina Ruki
@shina_ruki (15)
February 19, 2017 4:23am CST
Having nobody to trust to is really heavy. I want to express all of it, but I can't. Beside I don't want my name becomes a scum, I don't want to lose everyone. I tried to talk to someone that I think she was my bestfriend. And as expected, she looked at me how weird I was. I'm really sad. I just want someone to talk to without this guilty feelings.
I hurt myself again. It's bleeding. It's really hurt, but it can be cured, not same as this feelings. I wish I can overcome all of it.
I'm sick. My foot, my teeth, my heart, and all part of my body are so painful. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to touch or hug someone. And wish that all my pains are gone.
I dreamed I saw my other bestfriend, and I wished I could played with her. She didn't look at me. Suddenly my bestfriend appeared, and she played with my other bestfriend. They left me behind without my permission. I was looking for them, but I couldn't find them. And finally I opened up my eyes, and cried over it. I realized that I don't have a bestfriend anymore. Nobody trusts me. Nobody cares about me. And then I looked at myself. How selfish I am. Do you think someone has this feelings as same as me? Then how do you overcome with it? sorry for my bad grammar
2 people like this
4 responses
@ichchhe_mrityu (1144)
• Bangalore, India
19 Feb 17
I can feel your situation.. don't worry too much if someone is not giving importance to you... you cannot get "everyone" to be with you..it's part of life.. some loved ones will leave you... look the better side.. you will get to know someone intersting.. you will love again.. and to overcome the current situation talk to strangers in myLot or other social media..
2 people like this
@shina_ruki (15)
•
19 Feb 17
I agree with that, I feel uneasy when I talked this with my friends. Thanks for your opinion
1 person likes this
@shina_ruki (15)
•
19 Feb 17
yeah, in my country there are some words that can make someone keep their distance with other people now, like 'baper', 'move on', 'galau', etc. They don't care about what other people's feelings, they've made someone to be antisocial
@allknowing (130195)
• India
19 Feb 17
Your best friend is you. You have to become strong and learn to stand on your two feet and face whatever you are going through. If you are spiritual that also helps.
@shina_ruki (15)
•
19 Feb 17
@allknowing they had some different diagnostics with different counsellor, they called me scyzhophrenic, bipolar, manic-depressive, psychosomatic. They gave me some medicine, and it didn't work. I think I just need someone to talk to so I joined myLot. Thanks for your opinion
1 person likes this
@shina_ruki (15)
•
19 Feb 17
yeah, I think you're right, but you know sometimes we just need someone to talk to, or someone to rely on, like a friend. But in reality I can't find them
@cpefley (1926)
• San Jose, California
19 Feb 17
Of course they do! I am bipolar. I used to self harm too. There have been times where I was sure I was going to kill myself. I felt alone. We are alone, but there are so many other people who feel alone too. Think about those people. I wish I could hug you and tell you everything will be ok, because it will be, if you just let time pass. Nothing lasts forever, even sadness. I try to do nice things for other people when I'm really sad because it helps me feel better too. Don't hurt yourself. People love you...even people you've never even met.
1 person likes this
@shina_ruki (15)
•
19 Feb 17
Thank a lot, I wish someday I could meet someone like you to be my friend. It's so true that if we help each other through this, it will make me feel better. Your words make me feel better too. I hope you can overcome your bipolar too.
