The Alphabet (A Poem)

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I'm not getting upset. I just don't understand the alphabet. A is for apple. I'll take a bite. B is for bee. That doesn't sound right. C is for coffee. I think I'll have a cup. D is for delay. I think I'll give up. E is for elevator. Going up, up, up. F is for food. It's time for my sup. G is for garden. The weeds are piling high. H is for happy. I'll have another piece of pie. I is for innocent. That can't be me. J is for jaywalk. See, see, see. K is for kick. Short and direct. L is for lemon. Now I'm upset. M is for massage. May I have one now. N is for noise. Pow, pow, pow. O is for obliterate. Destroy it today. P is for pulverize. See, it's okay. Q is for quality. This poem certainly lacks it. R is for rash. It's giving me a fit. S is for salary. It's time for a raise. T is for tummy tucks. A new kind of craze. U is for umbrella. It's raining cats and dogs. V is for voracious. You're eating like a hog. W is for window. Please don't peak into my place. Y is for yawning. My head is occupying an empty space. Z is for zebra. Pink and yellow stripes. That's the end of the alphabet. Go ahead and get a life.