Family agitator
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40230)
United States
April 12, 2017 11:02am CST
It seems like there is one agitator in each family.
For my dad it's his sister. She is 10 years older then he is and was not real thrilled when along rolled my dad when she was 10. This is if I understand the story right. So they had their fair share of sibling rivalry growing up. Currently they have some weird love/hate relationship.
For me it's my cousin, My aunt's son. Now my dad really loves my cousin, that's right, his sister's son. All I know is that my cousin doesn't bother to return phone calls from my dad, didn't so much as text back when I texted him to let him know about dad being in hospital for heart, and - this past year - didn't bother to invite us to Christmas as we had been years past. Keep in mind - there had been no fight, no argument, and politics weren't an issue. We simply weren't invited.
But dad sticks up for this sorry excuse for a relative - dad without knowing for sure - blames my cousin's girlfriend for my cousin's rudeness. We have no major disagreement with the girlfriend, so I don't think it's her fault.
How about you? Is there that one person in your family who stirs up angst?
*If you want to read more of my writings about the topic of family I plan to tag them all with the "ffam" tag. :-)
11 people like this
9 responses
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
12 Apr 17
Of course, my youngest brother's wife is just an awful miserable person. She has caused tons of problems with the family. Now because of her she doesn't see any of her family from what I understand and has recently thrown the straw that broke the camels back into our family. She is so negative that we have finally called it quits with her, but it's sad as my brother is not like her at all. I did see my brother just this past weekend but his wife was out of town which is how I like that.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Apr 17
I'm so sorry to hear it. I feel bad for your brother and in these cases I always wonder - was that how she acted before they got married? As a single person - I fear that. What if I meet and fall in love with someone and then after marriage they act the complete opposite. It is a difficult choice - you don't want to see this trouble maker - but you still have your brother, however they're a package deal -- so lets hope she goes out of town often
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
14 Apr 17
@FayeHazel You have every right to wonder, most often people don;'t show their true colors. But living with them before marriage could give you a clue to their true behavior and no she didn't act like this before she married my brother. I had a talk with him about her last weekend and him and his son are both pretty darn tired of her behavior. She gets mad about every little thing so my brother says. I wouldn't be surprised if he left her as soon as their son is grown. He just turned 15.
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
13 Apr 17
yes, my sister. hahaha! living with an OCD sister is not good at all. i have to be patient to her, and avoid any disagreements in the future, i hope.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
15 Apr 17
@FayeHazel oh, i don't think living separately from her is a good option. it is because we are only 2 siblings plus my son living in our ancestral home. she has health problems like me, and we hold on together when either one of us is sick.
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Apr 17
Oh dear. What is her compulsion? I'm ocd myself. I find that I'm much happier living on my own. That way I know that I don't burden anyone else with my compulsions. (And I also know I can do what I feel compelled without being told "no".) Maybe it would be easier if sister had her own place?
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11383)
• United States
12 Apr 17
I don't keep in touch with any of the family agitators. My cousins love to gossip about anything and anyone. I don't got to see them and I have blocked them from any of my social networks.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Apr 17
I congratulate you on doing that. Going "no contact" is a hard step for a lot of people
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11383)
• United States
19 Apr 17
@FayeHazel Thank you. At times I think it hurts my mama's feelings that I don't care to associate with some of our family members but she respects my reasons.
@PatZAnthony (14749)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
13 Apr 17
Most of the people who seemed to be a bother in some manner are no longer here. Wonder if the next generation will have some who will step up to take their place.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43602)
• Denver, Colorado
13 Apr 17
No, but we're not exactly a close family as it is.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Apr 17
That's too bad, I know my mom's side and I aren't at all close due to something that happened when I was a baby. Who knows how many agitators I might have if we were close though. Ha.
1 person likes this
@Sambriel (2251)
•
13 Apr 17
@FayeHazel its not new there is always that one in every family.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
12 Apr 17
Only one? You are lucky! Yes there is always someone.
And yes I know that sometimes the girlfriend that the nephew has fallen in love with will rule the roost, he will go along with anything she says cause he loves her and does not want to lose her.
An Uncle cannot provide him with what the girlfriend can. Things change as each of the children grow up and make a new life for themselves.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Apr 17
So true, I suppose. Though I don't know many of my mom's side of family. Who knows how many there might be if I did.
I think you're right - I have heard third hand that cousin does whatever girlfriend dictates. I just wish someone were that loyal to me sometime. Ha!
The only thing that gets me is - we have no dispute with girlfriend, we have always gotten along well - no bad words - no arguing - so I don't know why dad thinks that this is her fault....
@Mass_Sonu (1021)
• India
12 Apr 17
@FayeHazel Yeah, there will always be that one agitator amongst the immediate family members. I've had my fair share too with a few relatives. And your cousin's behavious is just outright rude.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Apr 17
Sorry to hear this is also your experience. AH! Thank you, I thought I was going insane there for a minute with how my dad defends a certain someone....
1 person likes this
