Rest In Peace Gator

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This past Tuesday was the 7th year death anniversary of my Grandfather. I never wrote about him on Tuesday, as I didn't know how to write the post. The words just wouldn't come to mind. But I think I can do it now.. My Grandfather was the only father figure I had growing up. Mainly because my mom, brother and I lived with him, my Grandmother, my two uncles and my youngest aunt; for the first 4 years of my life (I believe). He was a strong, sometimes mean, alcoholic, pipe smoking, golf watching, spaghetti and meatball loving, man. But he loved his grandchildren. Probably more than he did his own children. He also loved collecting old car statue things, and collecting change. (When he died my grandmother found about 20 coffee cans and water jugs of change all around their room she had never seen before).  He had a long white/gray beard. And we liked to joke that he was Santa.. We loved to play tickle monster, and watch cartoons together. And well.. the only time I never got along with him was when I was pregnant. As he was disappointed. (Understandable). And it took him two weeks to hold my daughter.. But he loved her. As for memories.. Every Christmas as a kid, my brother and I would make our grandparents things for their gifts. One year we made little house things out of wood blocks then painted them. And guess what, he kept them for over 8 years! As we found them when he died. I was so shocked! We also had a tradition for Christmas. My grandfather would give us christmas cards with money in them. But he wouldn't give them on christmas day, instead he would give them a week or two earlier, but by sticking them on the tree and we couldn't touch them until christmas morning when he came over to see what we got for gifts... it was awful as a young kid wanted to open them, but now.. I miss that. I also miss the whole hugs and kisses, and saying "See you later alligator" when leaving. To which he would always reply with "in a while crocodile". :( And lastly.. before he died.. he told me not to cry. That I was to smile and be happy, and that he wasn't going to be in any pain anymore.. so I try to stand by those words of his every year on his anniversary of death, and birthday. But it can be SO hard.. Ugh. I miss you Gator. < 3