How long do you wait to put down a suffering pet? How do I convince my husband?

@kbkbooks (7028)
Canada
November 26, 2006 5:57pm CST
One of my husband's cats is old and not doing very well. She has terrible arthritis and hip dysplasia. She can't walk in a straight line. She has these awful fits of scratching where both her back legs will go like crazy and she wiggles all over and falls off whatever bed or couch she's on. A couple times she has fallen down the stairs. Some days she can't keep her food down. My sons and I think we should have the cat put down, but since she is really hubby's cat, he is fighting us on this. Granted, he is very very fond of her and she has been around with him a long time. I just hate to see her suffer. We won't be without a feline, we have three more healthy young cats.
2 people like this
14 responses
@Pigglies (9335)
• United States
27 Nov 06
I'm sorry you have to make this difficult decision. It is never easy to make. I go with quality of life and also with options available. Sometimes an animal can have a very poor quality of life, but it could be improved (example: bladder stone, stone removed, animal goes back to being great). But other times, you have something terminal and the animal still has quality of life, just no chance. I don't always wait until I've tried every option (some options just don't have much chance anyway), but as soon as there is lowered quality of life to a degree where the pet is suffering and not getting enjoyment out of life anymore, I personally would choose euthanasia at that point. The scratching fits might be because of the pain more than normal itching. It sounds like she's beyond the help of any possible treatments as well. But it's still his decision to make. I'd personally say that I can't stand to see a pet suffering and would rather they be at peace than I be selfish and keep them here.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
I never thought of it being pain and not real itching...hmmm. As far as having surgery for anything to improve her life, we just cannot afford it. I understand what you are saying though. For someone who has the means, its important to consider all the options available. Thanks for your reply.
@Pigglies (9335)
• United States
27 Nov 06
I didn't mean to imply that you even should do it if you could afford to. In some cases, it won't even help. I've had a guinea pig with cancer before, that someone on a message board tried to convince me to spend $3,000 doing chemo on. Later, I heard from someone who had tried chemo on their guinea pig. After my pig's diagnosis, she lived 3 more weeks happily before I had her put to sleep. But theirs lived 3 more months, months the owner would have rather the pet not lived because they were so horrible. So after hearing that, I was glad I didn't try it, even if I did have $3,000 at the time.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
29 Nov 06
I understand. *hugs, friend*
@ssgucluck (107)
• India
4 Dec 06
i do understand your problem!! check with some good doctor, its not a good choice to put her down, imagine some one in yr family wud hav sam kinda trouble. u cant think the same way !!
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
5 Dec 06
For sure. That is a hard decision. We treat our pets as family, until you get to that point.
@LovingIt (5398)
• United States
27 Nov 06
I trust my vet to let me know when it's time. He knows that I don't want my pets to suffer. He let's me know when they are hurting to the point where there is no quality of life left. He will tell me when we get to that point and tell me it's time to decide. I always make the decision to do so at this point, but never before then.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
5 Dec 06
Thanks for your response.
@kush12 (312)
• Australia
27 Nov 06
i had to put down my best mate in the world one year ago it was not a good day but than it was a lot worse for him the vet could do no more for him. it was time for me to do him the greatest kindness by lo ting him go. i know that old dog was the best mate i will ever have. tell him to look inside himself would he like his best friend to let him suffer like that.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
5 Dec 06
Thanks for the thoughts. I am sorry for your loss, but glad you shared with us.
@anne_143god (5388)
• Philippines
27 Nov 06
Maybe you should convinced him that if he really loves that pet he must let that pet to die for that pet not to suffer anymore.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
29 Nov 06
Thanks for your reply.
@peizli (1000)
• Australia
27 Nov 06
Sorry to hear this. I guess i will just be reiterating what others have said, quality of life. I have a friend with an old blind dog but she still has quality of life. I wish you all the best in what you decide, not an easy decision to be made.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
29 Nov 06
Thanks for your reply. I had a friend who had an old english sheepdog. She was really old but still healthy. Then she had a stroke and was blind. They talked about taking her to the vet to get put down and decided on the following morning. I think the dog knew. She passed quietly in the night. My friend was really glad.
• Philippines
27 Nov 06
i think just wait for her time...
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
29 Nov 06
Thanks for your reply.
@meljessxena (2317)
• Australia
27 Nov 06
ppicture of cat - cat picture
i think its best if you just let your hubby deal wit it in his way and let him decide when its time for her to be put down. alll i can suggest is support ur hubby and cat, and make sure cat is safe at all times as i had a dog in the same situation.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
Thanks for your ideas. Family support is the most important thing in any situation, for sure.
• United States
27 Nov 06
It's so hard. Some people can see it quickly, while others refuse to believe it. I guess until you can make him realize she is truly suffering he's not going to understand that it's time. I just put my soul mate puppy to rest in July. It was so hard to decide but looking at him I knew it was time. It hurt too much to see him suffer.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
I'm so sorry. It's very very hard to lose a pet for sure. I know this will be miserable for my husband, even though for me cats are not my favorite. Like you say, it's hard for some people to see...maybe he is just too close to see it clearly.
@Joi130 (13)
• United States
27 Nov 06
What a terrible spot to be put in. And your a wonderful wife, and an even better 'feline mommy' Gosh, how do you answer this one, other than to say just keep the faith that your husband will finally see the baby doesnt need to suffer like this. I'd also give the vet a call to see if there is a liquid pain reliever that you can add to the food to help with the pain. Good luck dear.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
I'm not a good feline mommy, at least not by choice. I generally don't have much tolerance for cats. This is more out of interest for my sanity and the cleanliness of my house. For sure I don't like to see animals suffer, cats or dogs. Worse, I hate to see my husband suffer. He gets so lost when he is grieving or fretting over the smallest thing.
• Australia
27 Nov 06
It is very hard to make the decision to have a pet put down.Your husband probably doesnt believe in euthanasia either which will make it even more harder for him to understand. The poor cat to him is probably like a family member. Has the cat been taken to the vet? and what was the vet's advise? You would take an elderly relative to the doctor wouldnt you?
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
Thanks for your reply and your suggestions. My husband is very lax about taking his cats to the vet. On the other hand, he is having is first checkup in three years today. That's just his attitude about the need for doctoring, I guess.
• United States
27 Nov 06
I think it is a question of quality of life...if she isn't loosing a lot of her body mass and she is for the most part appearing to be content with her lot, then by all means let her continue living if it means that much to him. Since you say he is fond of this cat, when he believes she is truly suffering I have no doubt he will do what is best and kindest for her.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
For sure, quality of life is the biggest factor. She has lost quite a bit of weight but she still is a decent size. Thanks so much for your reply
@Cortney (3982)
• United States
27 Nov 06
i don't have any pets.. but i think as soon as they are starting to suffer and they can't be helped... then they should be put down as soon as possible. I could not just sit back and watch them suffer.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
Thanks for your reply. I agree. I wish I could make him understand. Even our kids understand. I guess he just loves her too much.
@bigedshult1 (1613)
• United States
27 Nov 06
If it was one of your kids what woud you say to thise quiston he may love it that much
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
27 Nov 06
You don't think about putting your kids down. Sometimes you might for another reason, LOL, but there are actually laws against it. For sure he loves the cat dearly, its been with him for years. At times I think his cats come before the kids and me!! Thanks for your reply.