Meeting the boyfriends family
By Cait Tallon
@skydream (1445)
Agate, Colorado
July 6, 2017 5:31pm CST
My boyfriend has been here 4 months this month and last night we were talking about him going home for Thanksgiving and me coming with him to meet his family. Now I really want to meet them, i mean we've been together so long and he has met most of mine. The only issue is I have severe anxiety. What is easy for normal people is extremely hard for me so imagine something like meeting a big family all at one time, during a holiday, while also having to get on a plane for the first time to do it, while it being the first Thanksgiving without any of my family.
I got anxiety just thinking about it. Thankfully he knows I have anxiety and kept reassuring me he knows it would be hard and if i can't yet it's okay and his mom knows about my anxiety and that she'd be okay with it too. As he was talking it through about his work schedule and all he'd have to do that he said he'd rather go on a normal day rather than a holiday. I feel bad because i don't want him or his family to think I don't want to meet them because I do. It's just hard for me.
Flying for the first time would be scary and give me anxiety, the first holiday without family would and meeting a big group all at one time when I know one person in a state i've never been too, it all just feels like too much and I'm extremely shy so I don't want to come off as rude or standoffish if i don't talk much.
I'm sure everyone is nervous before meeting their significant others family and I want to be able to meet his soon especially his mom, does anyone have any advice or tips for meeting the family?
7 people like this
7 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Jul 17
Honestly, just be yourself. If they don't like you it's their loss. You know your a good person and so does your boyfriend.
I was a mess before meeting my husband's family. They didn't understand that I am a shy person and they thought I was being snobby because I didn't talk much. I'm an observer until I'm comfortable.
His one sister, I talk to now and we get along because she worked to break my shell. I like her a lot. The rest of his family, I don't give a darn if they like me or not.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
8 Jul 17
@skydream Your welcome. The accepting non judgmental people will understand and they will work on getting you to open up and feel comfortable. =)
@skydream (1445)
• Agate, Colorado
7 Jul 17
That was one of my fears, I'm very quiet around one new person but especially around a new group I stick by the person I know and just watch everyone a few times til I feel okay and I didn't want it to look bad. It makes me a little more comfortable to know you were shy but get along with his sister now. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
6 Jul 17
Well number one.. you dont just know one person in MASS 
.
Two, I know how you're feeling. My boyfriend and I were only together a year and a few months before we took our first road trip, from RI to MI and not only that but it was for thanksgiving as well, as we were going to see the greenbay vs Detroit thanksgiving day game.
I was scared shyt. Never been away from home for 3 days STATES away, with someone ive only known fir over a year. Plus over a holiday, that i always spend at home. Its why we argued alot the whole trip there and while there. I was homesick. But at the end of it inwas glad i went. I fought my fears and had some fun.
Honestly, i think you should go. But only for a day or two.
.
Two, I know how you're feeling. My boyfriend and I were only together a year and a few months before we took our first road trip, from RI to MI and not only that but it was for thanksgiving as well, as we were going to see the greenbay vs Detroit thanksgiving day game.
I was scared shyt. Never been away from home for 3 days STATES away, with someone ive only known fir over a year. Plus over a holiday, that i always spend at home. Its why we argued alot the whole trip there and while there. I was homesick. But at the end of it inwas glad i went. I fought my fears and had some fun.
Honestly, i think you should go. But only for a day or two.1 person likes this
@skydream (1445)
• Agate, Colorado
7 Jul 17
Lol okay true.
That's kinda what I was thinking that it would be worth it and be fun and I might regret it not going so I'm trying to focus on that part but I was worried about being homesick and have too much anxiety where it'll make a good first impression.
I was debating talking to him about only going for the day and another so he can see his family and i can meet them like he wants but it's scary. It's comforting to know you did it too though and had a good time
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
7 Jul 17
@skydream i get it. Just see if you can get whatever meds people take for plane rides, and then have your anxiety meds with you. You may just be thinking too much of it as we always.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
7 Jul 17
@skydream talk to him, about meeting everyone seperately or in small groups instead of a big group.. maybe go for the day before thanksgiving, and meet just his parents /siblings and then everyone else on thanksgiving? Idk how mamy people would be in each day doing it thst way as idk wholl be there or how many siblings he has..
1 person likes this
@youless (114117)
• Guangzhou, China
7 Jul 17
Take it easy, everything will be fine. You will feel excited because this is a whole new holiday for you because it is different than before. I am sure your boyfriend's family will treat you well and soon you will adjust to there and get on well with them. I think playing the games together will be great to forget the anxiety and you will know each other better in an ease way.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10782)
• Canada
7 Jul 17
You are right we have all been there - I have for sure and while I was quite nervous, I survived. Just think you are meeting a human being and you won't die . That is what I tell myself.
1 person likes this
@tammys85 (31424)
• Baltimore, Maryland
5 Aug 17
It sounds like they're understanding of it. What about video chatting with some of them, or doing something smaller for your first trip? Either way, just be yourself. You're an amazing person and I can't see why they wouldn't like you. I'm glad your boyfriend is understanding of your anxiety. Anxiety sucks, and I'm here for you. *Hugs*
