Hillbilly Pyromanic Banned From Warehouse Stores!!
By Four Walls
@FourWalls (86755)
United States
August 31, 2017 7:22pm CST
A couple of weeks ago I posted a discussion about going to a Sam's Club to look around to decide whether or not to join after a decade-long hiatus, and how I didn't get the chance because the fire alarm went off.
Well, guess what happened today....
Last week I went to the state fair and passed a booth for Costco Warehouse Stores. As I was near one today I thought I'd stop by and check it out. After looking through the store (I walked a mile, so all was not lost...I did get my exercise in 
) I realized why I let my Sam's Club membership lapse. Doing quick calculations of things I would actually buy, I realized that I'd have to buy enough to fill Rhode Island just to "break even" on the savings that the $60 annual membership would get me. In many cases, I saw no savings potential at all, and quite a few items were more expensive than "regular prices" at Meijer or Kroger.
As I was leaving, however, I noticed a large group of people moving out of the store with a good deal of pep in their step. A few were even running. Then I saw the black smoke from the side of the store.
Another fire alarm. But this one was real.
The smoke appeared to be coming from the area of the gas pumps. Now, granted, those things have automatic and emergency shut-off valves, but a fire around gasoline isn't the most pleasant thought I can come up with on a Thursday evening. That would explain why people were leaving the store. To their credit, despite the real hazard, they were leaving orderly and courteously...but you could tell they wanted to get far, far away from that store in case the pumps' emergency features didn't kick in.
What's it with me? That's the second membership warehouse I've been to this month, and the second time the fire department has shown up!!
Luckily, there aren't any more membership warehouse stores around town. I've burned them all down. 
"Putting out fire with gasoline," you say?
) I realized why I let my Sam's Club membership lapse. Doing quick calculations of things I would actually buy, I realized that I'd have to buy enough to fill Rhode Island just to "break even" on the savings that the $60 annual membership would get me. In many cases, I saw no savings potential at all, and quite a few items were more expensive than "regular prices" at Meijer or Kroger.
As I was leaving, however, I noticed a large group of people moving out of the store with a good deal of pep in their step. A few were even running. Then I saw the black smoke from the side of the store.
Another fire alarm. But this one was real.
The smoke appeared to be coming from the area of the gas pumps. Now, granted, those things have automatic and emergency shut-off valves, but a fire around gasoline isn't the most pleasant thought I can come up with on a Thursday evening. That would explain why people were leaving the store. To their credit, despite the real hazard, they were leaving orderly and courteously...but you could tell they wanted to get far, far away from that store in case the pumps' emergency features didn't kick in.
What's it with me? That's the second membership warehouse I've been to this month, and the second time the fire department has shown up!!
Luckily, there aren't any more membership warehouse stores around town. I've burned them all down.
"Putting out fire with gasoline," you say?
Music video by David Bowie performing Cat People (Putting Out Fire).
4 people like this
3 responses
@JohnRoberts (109841)
• Los Angeles, California
1 Sep 17
You appear to take "Burning Down the House" way too seriously.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (86755)
• United States
1 Sep 17
I wrote a Weird Al-type parody of "Burning Down the House" once...."I'm a py-ro-ma-nee-ack, burning down the house."
2 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43618)
• Denver, Colorado
1 Sep 17
It's like you are a magnet or something.
1 person likes this
