Sept 29 Discussion: Do you agree to live with elderly parents or in laws?
By peachpurple
@peachpurple (13961)
Malaysia
September 29, 2017 5:52am CST
There was a discussion on this topic when I heard it over the radio station this morning. More and more adult children are putting their elderly parents to stay in old age home instead of staying with them.
The standard of living is high, but with two spouses working full time, kids with the child care centre, elderly folks are becoming a burden to them that they had to either employ a maid to take care of them or get rid of them- to the old age home.
My mother in law used to stay with us for the past 20 years . She wasn't happy staying with us because she wanted to stay with her daughter but she was married too. No husband would allow a mother in law to stay under one roof.
My neighbors said that my mother in law was lucky enough to be able to stay with us so long, yet she complained a lot but we didn't chase her away. We care for her needs and gave her freedom. We have the responsibility to take care of her since she is old now.
However, my sister in law is alike other adult child in the world, refused and reluctant to stay with her in laws. That is why the elderly parents had to stay at old folks home or own their own , alone without grand children nor their own adult children.
So, how many of you are living under one roof with your parents or in laws?
9 people like this
11 responses
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
29 Sep 17
These days it seems more and more children are taking care of their parents here in the USA. I currently live with my elders parents and so does my girlfriend. Different apartments though. Also my girlfriends sister is going to be taking her elderly father to live with her and her husband. No husband should have the right to be ignorant and refuse theirs wives parents. And visa versa. Family must always stick together.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 17
thanks for that. you are so right @inertia4
3 people like this
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
2 Oct 17
@bunnybon7 You're welcome. That is what family is all about.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
It is the opposite in our culture, parents usually stay with the oldest son, not daughters. Staying with in laws is very rare
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 17
i am the elderly mother here. i have only one child willing to put up with me and see me through. this daughter i live with. but i do help her financially and the others complain, but i would have been helping them if i lived there. sometimes i think she is the only one loves and is grateful for my raising her.
2 people like this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
You are super lucky that your daughter is liv8ng with you, otherwise you will be alone
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 17
@peachpurple true. one kid in five. worthy
2 people like this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 17
@bunnybon7 indeed, at least one is willing, is she the youngest?
@Ithink (10106)
• United States
30 Sep 17
My mom is still on her own but if it comes to a point were she needs daily care, not just help as we go do her wood and such for her. But daily help with a lot she will come here to live. I already told her she will never be left alone like that. She will live with us. My husband agrees, with me.
1 person likes this
@Ithink (10106)
• United States
2 Oct 17
@peachpurple She is a very strong person, one of the best people I know and not just saying that because she is my mom. I am who I am today with the help from her.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 17
both of you are so warm and kibd towards her, maybe she was to be independent
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 17
@Ithink you are lucky to have a great mom, treasure her
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (24085)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 17
Sadly these days many families move away for work reasons so there are not that many people who live locally to their parents plus the fact that the family units are much smaller these days. So unlike in the past where people had large families this is not the case today! In my work I see so many people who have no families at all. It is so sad. Loneliness is a horrible thing!
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
indeed it is, parents are left to stay in hometown while adult children are working out of town, hardly able to meet each other.
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
29 Sep 17
I don't live with my parents or in- laws but when I was able to work I was a home health aide. This job was paid by insurance companies for those patients whom qualified and helped keep them in their home and out of nursing facilities. My job was to help them with grooming, cleaning, cooking, going to the store, dr. appointments, and nursing tasks. If they lived with family this also gave the family a break from caring for them so they could go to work or do whatever they had to do.
I want to thank you for taking your mother in law in and caring for her because in my 20 years of doing that work there were so many times I saw where the families did not want to take the elderly family member in. A lot of the times I never saw the family unless it was an emergency. I, myself and my mother take turns taking my elderly grandfather food and cleaning for him because he refuses to leave his home to move in with us and says we have our own home so there is no need for us to stay with him. Luckily, we live just a couple streets down from him so it is easy to check on him and he still gets around good.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
Thank you, even my friends claimed that they can't stay with their own parents too not to mention in laws, it is the patience and ignorance to allow no quarrel in the family.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
1 Oct 17
@peachpurple You're welcome. I completely agree with you. After all they took care of us when we were little and needed someone to care for us, now they are elderly and need taking care of so it is our duty to take care of them.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 17
@melissa1024 yes, it is our responsibility to repay them. However, is it true only the son of the family take cares of parents?
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
How do you react when your in laws listen to their own children advices instead of yours?
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 17
@rubyriaz007 that is good, my in laws listen to their own kids, never my advices because I am not her child....
1 person likes this
@rubyriaz007 (4187)
• India
30 Sep 17
@peachpurple They have never done like that till now..
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (58468)
• Germany
29 Sep 17
It depends if my husband have parents living with him..Then, It`s ok for me 
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
Mine is staying together b3csuse they had no place to stay since the oldest son kicked them out
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
29 Sep 17
I don't have any problem if my parents or in laws stay with me.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
That is good news but how do you live with in laws who are biased?
@ilocosboy (45155)
• Philippines
29 Sep 17
Because we're still living in the the rural places and home for the aged is not yet a thing here, so my answer is yes.
1 person likes this
@Mrgana1 (338)
• Nigeria
29 Sep 17
I am not currently living with elderly parents but from experience, it is not easy living with them but with patience and perseverance one will succeed. It is fundamental that at certain age the brain begin to retardate such that their attitudes and behaviors are similar to that of kids so it requires you to understand this principle so as to tolerate them as much as possible
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 17
You are absolutely right, my in laws are acting like kids wanted to be pampered, pacified and throws tantrums
1 person likes this
