The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

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Yesterday I posted about the abdominal pain which caused me to go to the ER, where I learned it is being caused by my reproductive organs, which are glued to my bowel. My fallopian tubes are blown up and show up on tests as liquid-filled cysts. One has grown 3 cm in size since my laparoscopy in March, which now puts it roughly around the size of a baseball. Knowing something that big is inside of me and may still be growing and eventually rupture is terrifying. I made an appointment to see my gynecological oncologist two weeks from now. I will discuss having surgery then. I am going to tell him I want everything out that will keep causing me to have endometriosis issues, but to try to save my ovaries, or at least one ovary. I am supposed to bring in a disc with the CT scan from the ER with me to my appointment. So I will have to figure out how to obtain a copy of that from the hospital. I see my regular gynecologist this Friday and my primary doctor next Tuesday. I am going to ask for a rushed referral to UC Davis, which is closer, and get a second opinion (although if it's quicker to just have the surgery in Berkeley, I will probably do that.) I am worried about how I will get there not only for the surgery, but for pre-op, since sometimes they have you come in for a consultation with the doctor first and then send you to another location for the actual pre-op appointment. I don't know if the transportation service my insurance offers will be able to drive me to multiple locations, especially if I don't know about it beforehand. Anyway right now there is nothing I can do but wait. Wait to see my doctors, wait to hear what they have to say, wait for surgery. I hate playing the waiting game. I want to get this over and done with and put it all behind me. Now every time I have a weird pain I freak out. Before I thought it was benign so it didn't scare me. But now that I know it has the potential of being deadly, it's a whole different ball game.