What Are We, Exactly?

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Next week marks 10 years since my boyfriend and I got together. We have lived together for 9 and a half of those years. We aren't legally married so I don't call him my husband. But we aren't "dating" either, so it seems weird to just refer to him as my "boyfriend." I used to refer to him as my "partner," but people started assuming I was gay when I used that term, as apparently it is more commonly used by the LGBTQ community. In other countries they have terms for people who live together like a married couple but who aren't legally married. Why don't we have something like that in the U.S.? Calling him my "domestic partner" seems too impersonal, while saying "live-in lover" is way too personal, not to mention awkward and embarrassing. I know some people call their partners their husband or wife regardless as to whether they have actually tied the knot or not, but I guess I'm old fashioned and don't feel comfortable calling him my "husband" unless he actually is. So I call him my boyfriend. But then when I complain about his occasional bad behavior, people say insulting things and suggest I should just "date" someone else, like what we have is disposable. Would you tell a married person they should "date" someone better if they complained about their spouse? Would you tell them to just get divorced if their husband was having an off day and they were venting about it? No? Then don't say that sort of thing to me either. I only call him my "boyfriend" because there's simply no other word to call him. He's not really my fiance, as we don't have any marriage plans. He's not my "baby daddy" as we don't have kids together. I suppose I could refer to him as "significant other," but then people assume that we're married, or again, that I'm gay. Just because I call the man that I live with and have spent the last decade with my "boyfriend," doesn't mean we are the same as people who are still casually dating or that our relationship is disposable. Because it's not. I am not going to find someone else to "date" because I am not dating. I am in a committed relationship. And our relationship has outlasted most of the marriages of my peers. Most of the people around my age that I know are divorced or on their second or third marriages. I don't think my relationship is any less than their short-lived marriages just because I don't have that piece of paper. But people sure as hell like to try to make me feel that way, both online and in real life. Frankly I'm sick of it. Whether it's my dad telling me how "disappointed" he is in me because I'm "living in sin," or people not respecting the boundaries of our relationship because "we're not married so technically we're still available," or women smugly informing me the guy who knocked them up a month into their relationship "loves them more than mine obviously loves me" because they popped the question, or people telling me I just need to find "someone better to date" if I happen to complain about something he did, it is all extremely disrespectful and rude. I don't know why people feel free to say these things or act that way towards me, and I wonder if my boyfriend gets half the grief I have to deal with. Have you ever felt like people were trivializing your relationship?