The Miller's Tale in exactly 100 words

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Are Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales too long-winded for you? Would you prefer them to be a bit shorter? Here is a 100-word version of the second of the Tales, a bawdy romp that is told by the Miller: Elderly carpenter John has young wife Alison who is much fancied by lodger Nicholas (an astrologer) and neighbour Absolon. Alison fancies Nicholas. Nicholas tell John that Noah’s Flood will happen again and persuades him to spend the night in a barrel tied to the rafters. Absolon asks Alison for a midnight kiss at the window, but she sticks her bare backside out at him instead. Absolon asks for another kiss later but plans to whack her rear end with a piece of hot metal. However, this time it’s Nicholas’s a*se. He shouts “Water”, John cuts his rope and crashes down. OK - so plenty of detail is missing here, but you get the essentials!