Favorite Bands with Colorado Ties #6 - Warlock Pinchers

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"Excuse me, y'all, while I whip this out," and by "whip this out," I mean it's time to whip out a great big "WHOO HOOO" as I count down my favorite bands with Colorado ties. We are at #6: Warlock Pinchers. Sometimes, rock and roll just needs to lighten up and have a little fun. And nobody was more fun than late 80's Denver punk band, the Warlock Pinchers. The Pinchers, on their own Facebook page, refer to themselves as "Satanic Hip Hop," Dale Crover, drummer for legendary punk band, The Melvins, calls them "rap mixed with a heavy metal version of the Butthole Surfers" (and declares that the Warlock Pinchers is the one band he thought was going to make it big,) while Denver's alternative weekly newspaper, Westword, simply calls the band "A charmingly obnoxious outfit of musical pranksters." The Warlock Pinchers toured a lot, sold a lot of merchandise (you know how you seem to see a kid wearing a Misfits t-shirt everywhere you go? There was a time here in Denver that Warlock Pinchers t-shirts were everywhere. You could get Warlock Pinchers golf tees, skateboard designs, yo-yo's, and even wrist watches: The Official Timepiece of Satan!) Nearly every one of my alternative music friends back in the day owned a copy of the Pinchers' album, Deadly Kung Fu Action. Seriously. What a fun record! In the meantime, the band was almost sued by Tiffany over their song "I Think We're Tiffany," went on the offensive (and I do mean offensive, as in "highly offensive") with their best-known song, "Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse," which, the band claims, wasn't so much anti-Morrissey as much as it was aimed at taking down the level of worship displayed by the Moz's legion of adoring fans, they begged actor Christian Glover to join their band with "Where the Hell is Christian Glover?," and "James Dean Is an Overrated (insert word that rhymes with 'Gashole'") kind of speaks for itself. And before you write these off as a loveable gang of weirdo idiots, just know that guitarist King Scratchie (Derek van Westrum) once left the group to pursue a Ph.D in nuclear physics (and years later, was instrumental in reuniting the band,) and guitarist the 3 Kord Scissor King (Mark Brooks) is a filmmaker who has directed videos for bands such as Danzig, the fictional cartoon band, Dethklok, The Melvins, and Slayer, as well as the animated "Black Panther" series on BET and Eminem's "The Slim Shady Show." These guys are total Denver legends. And now you know. (Info verified by Wikipedia, Westword)