Seeking Advice
By eileenleyva
@eileenleyva (27555)
Philippines
January 4, 2019 3:05pm CST
As my apostolate, I keep old ladies company, for conversation or simple assistance.
One lady and. for this post, I will call her, Emilia, is ninety years old. She loves to shop in the mall, for hours - dresses, bags, and other little things. Now, if there is one activity I detest, it is shopping. But for Emilia, I will do it. She's old and Parkinson's has come to make her fragile. So, I was there for her for the longest time, fetching and bring her to the bank, for her pension, to the grocery, for her supplies, and to the restaurant for her rice meals. Of course, she would treat me and I enjoyed the food. Ha ha, But I never charged her for gasoline. That is not nice. I am not a taxi driver.
In the course of keeping her company, she has out-poured her sentiments about her own family to me. Her only son, daughter-in-law, and adolescent grandchildren are all distant from her. They all live in one roof but she was shoved off to an annexed room at the back corner of the house. Thus, isolated. That word was used by her own son when I tried to ask about why no one would come with Emilia.
Yesterday, when I asked to have a clarification on the matter, the son, outright, called me meddlesome. I retaliated, telling him he was verbally abusing me and he was very ungrateful for all the things I did for his mother.
I sent Emilia message saying I was doctor-advised not to drive anymore, thus I couldn't keep her company any longer. She was very sad.
I was, too. But I think it was about time the son takes care of the mother.
For your advisement. I really feel sad for Emilia.
I was, too. But I think it was about time the son takes care of the mother.
For your advisement. I really feel sad for Emilia.3 people like this
3 responses
@Namelesss (3364)
• United States
4 Jan 19
You gave Emilia time, love and care. Perhaps it is time she and her family work out their issues for themselves. Remember family dynamics are never simple and rarely easy to understand. Don't be offended by the son's attitude, it likely has little to do with you. You were just the one available because sometimes we say things to people when we know we need to being saying things to someone else.
No doubt you have helped this family as well as Emilia. Let it go and move on. Of course I see no reason you can't simply visit on occasion.
As a caregiver and someone who has often been in this position I offer you a big warm Hug.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
4 Jan 19
Oh thank you, you just set my heart and mind to rest. 
I was overly worried. But you are right, families must resolve their issues.
I couldn't thank you enough. Your advice is most wise. 
I was overly worried. But you are right, families must resolve their issues.
I couldn't thank you enough. Your advice is most wise. @Namelesss (3364)
• United States
5 Jan 19
@eileenleyva I'm happy to have helped. Sometimes all it takes is someone to listen. I treasure all those who have helped me along the way.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
5 Jan 19
@Namelesss Now, I treasure you. Told my daughters of the knowledge you shared and they both said wisdom is a gift and wise people are indeed blessed.
Thank you. I am happy to have been a recipient of your wisdom. And I know you have much more to bequeath others. Our good God bless you all the more.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
5 Jan 19
I agree with you. The 4th commandment and the Golden Rule apply in this case. But if I continue arguing my case, the family will never heal. The mother will hurt all the more should she hear all the hogwash her family is saying about her. I will check on her one day, no worry. She is a message away.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
5 Jan 19
Emilia has become numb and verbally combatant. She does her best to protect her self. I have become, somehow, her ace on the table this past year, When I realized that, I did my best to solve the situation. It was an almost futile effort. Today, however, I received message that she is going to talk to her son. Good start, I suppose.
