VERY Personal Blog: Showering when you don't feel comfortable

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This may seem like a really personal topic but it's something that's on my mind. In my house, there is me, my daughter, my stepdad and my uncle. When I want to take a shower, I don't feel comfortable if everyone is home and awake. Even though I only take like a 15-20 minute shower, longer if I need to shave my legs, I will put things in front of the door so if someone tries to open it, they'll be blocked. One time my daughter had to use the bathroom while I was in the shower and I told her she could come in but I totally forgot that I had blocked the door. So she opened the door, causing the garbage to tip over and make a huge sound. When my daughter left the bathroom, both my stepdad and uncle asked her what the noise was. When she told them that I put the garbage in front of the door, they both had the same response. They both asked her why I block the door since no one wants to see me naked. While I'm glad those two don't want to see me naked, I still don't feel comfortable showering without something blocking the door. As for putting a lock on the door, I don't own the house so I can't make any changes to it. So now I reside myself to take a shower when everyone else is either gone or sleeping. It's almost 5am now and as soon as I post this, I will be heading in for a shower and yes, I will still be blocking the door. Trust is a funny thing. Once you lose it, it takes forever to earn it back. I don't really trust the people in my house except my daughter. Even when she showers, I leave my door open so that I know no one walks in on her. For those that may be wondering, no I have not been raped. There was once a time where I was almost raped during one of my aunt's bonfire parties but thankfully, it was prevented. To my knowledge, I have not been sexually molested by anyone but I don't remember alot of my childhood either. My sister on the otherhand has been raped and molested. Raped by an older man who had told her he loved her and wanted to marry her and that he was going to leave his wife. It was statutory rape, but rape none the less. Lately, she's been making claims that one of our other uncles molested her when we were little. She'll ask me if he did anything to me but to my knowledge, he didn't. It does make me wonder if that's why I prefer to live my life without a man. And why I keep a very close eye on my daughter. It's a sick world we live in now and not like it was when I was growing up. I could hang out with my friends until it was dark out at age 11 but these days, you have to worry about someone driving by and kidnapping your kids.