Mortify me more.

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Here's the pathetic envious me, and envy is a capital sin. Thirty years ago, or around that time, I did think Padre Pio was cool. He healed. He prophesied. He amazed people with bilocation. Ergo, people from all walks of life sought audience with him, primarily for healing and consequently, confession. Ha ha. He wore some sort of gloves on his hands, purpotedly to conceal something. That could be the source of his power. Cool, I said to myself, not thinking well enough what it was about. Of course we know it was the stigmata. Here's a fact. I am free of envy. I desire none of others except for a fact the gift of musicl. So, at that moment, I gave in to envy and prayed that I be given the stigmata. Crazy, huh. Lo and behold, diabetes set in. The young busy mother ignored the symptoms and before the necessary sugar control was initiated, the nerves were damaged. The pain was agonizing. It was late in the day, too, that I realized it was my answered prayer. The adage holds - be careful what you wish for. I asked for admonition. Mea Culpa. Dear God, I get it, stigmata is nothing like neuropathy, and if I am already cringing with this pain, I cannot endure stigmata. Please, Lord, have mercy and relieve me of the pain. Of course, God did not. Very well my lesson was learned, all to last a lifetime, And much so, taught me to be thankful that I can still stand and walk and swim and drive. Thank you, God, I said, for you humbled the proud me. A month ago, though, I lifted my left leg on a stool and my knee crackled. Oh, I did go to have it checked, X-ray rendered nothing. My doctor of a daughter said it must be a torn meniscus. For a month now, I've been nursing a sore knee. Every day, I pray that nothing worse happens, for I never want to be a bother to others, nor a burden to my daughters. Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of a forty day season of Lent. Catholics are called to abstinence and fasting. As I heed, in spite of my condition that frees me from the mortification, I obey, with all my heart. Mortify me more, Lord, that I may be healed.