Whose fault is it?

@jiwonnie (443)
Philippines
March 22, 2019 4:31am CST
I have just been reading a facebook post about rape a while ago and it has so many different reactions and comments. It came after the news broke out about a 16 year old girl who was gang raped by 6 men in drinking spree. The post was about how we should never blame the victim, and it's solely the fault of the rapists. Many people agreed; however, half of the people who commented are blaming the girl for getting drunk with six men and expecting nothing bad will happen to her, that she should have seen it coming. It's sad how they were fighting about whose fault it is instead of just supporting the victim. What are your thoughts about this? Please respect each others' opinions.
7 people like this
6 responses
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
22 Mar 19
Yes, of course the girl needs (and needed) support. At sixteen, she felt adult but didn't really have the skills or knowledge to be one. Perhaps she knew that going out drinking was 'wrong' and she may or may not have known that it was dangerous because she'd be giving out all the wrong signals. Would you advise your daughter (if you have one) to do that because, "... what the hell! If you get raped, the 'law' will on your side and all the blame will be with the guy(s)"? No, of course you wouldn't! If someone goes to a zoo and thinks that it would be fun to take a selfie with a tiger looking over their shoulder and gets mauled, who do you blame? The tiger or the person who is stupid enough to stand too near the bars? Support isn't about saying that someone is a 'victim' and is blameless. It's about making sure that the person you are giving it to knows enough to be safe and, if they were unfortunate enough to have harm come to them, helping them to come to terms with what happened. It is one thing to be able to go walking in the park on a sunny day, asking for nothing but to be alone for a bit and to be raped because there was a sick guy there who took advantage of the situation. It's quite another to go out drinking when you don't know your capabilities, meet some guys and find that the situation has got out of hand. Does that mean that I have sympathy with the rapists? No! Not at all! (Maybe they need support, too, but do they get it? Like hll they do!). Please don't all say "Aww, poor girl! It was all the fault of those 'animals'!". That isn't 'support' - it's merely passing the buck. Let's recognise that sometimes (but by no means always) SOME of the 'blame' for a rape (and I contend that laying blame is a negative thing, not a positive one), just like the 'blame' for a traffic accident, can be said to be the fault of the 'victim'.
4 people like this
@jiwonnie (443)
• Philippines
24 Mar 19
I get you. It's just that some people said she deserves it. Their words are very cruel. The girl made a stupid mistake but that does not mean she deserves to be raped.
2 people like this
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
24 Mar 19
@jiwonnie No, she didn't deserve it. Nobody deserves that. I wonder whether the people who said that even thought about it much or was it, maybe, just a way of saying "I don't care!"? If somebody does something stupid and makes a fool of themselves (but without coming to any real harm), we often say, jokingly, "Oh well, you deserved that!". If someone, taking a selfie, steps back and falls off a cliff, nobody in their right mind would say that it was 'deserved'! Rather few people are qualified to say whether or not someone really deserves something (a punishment or an award) yet more than a few of us have done so at one time or another. Life is hard - we rarely get what we deserve or deserve what we get!
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
17 Jul 19
I agree with this comment. She does not deserved to be raped and that was wrong. But she should not have been in that place and drinking at that with those men around either.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
22 Mar 19
All were wrong in the situation I think. If the girl had self control and was taught better it's quite possible it might not have happened at all. The men needed self control and didn't have any either, they were very wrong too.
2 people like this
@jiwonnie (443)
• Philippines
24 Mar 19
Maybe the girl trusted her friends too much. But yeah, I agree.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
11 Apr 19
Rape is rape. It is wrong to transfer the fault to the victim. It is never right for any man to physically abuse a woman. This is gang rape. Sometime during the rape, one would have come to his senses and stop the brutality. That did not happen, I presume, For those blaming the girl and rendering the rapists right, that is false compassion.
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
24 Mar 19
I really hate victim blaming. She was raped. It was rape because she didn’t allow it and did not want it. I agree that she should’ve been more careful. She was probably naive or really trusted those guys she was with. But no matter what, she didn’t deserve what happened to her. Rape cannot be justified.
@Hannihar (129688)
• Israel
22 Mar 19
@jiwonnie The girl should not be blamed. To gangrape her is terrible and they should go to jail.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129688)
• Israel
24 Mar 19
@jiwonnie I hope they are put away for a very long time. That is terrible to do that to someone.
@jiwonnie (443)
• Philippines
24 Mar 19
I hope they go to jail, too. They're evil.
1 person likes this
@janethwayne (5193)
• Philippines
22 Mar 19
Actually for me if you are a girl you have to avoid mixing yourself with men especially if you are alone then you are drinking liquors you have to take care of yourself also and must not give her trust right away because they are men and you know she is a girl.You know what I mean.
2 people like this
@jiwonnie (443)
• Philippines
24 Mar 19
I agree. In this cruel world, we always have to be careful, even when we're with 'friends'.