Narcissistic Parents ... Do You Have One

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I've come to realize (sadly) over the past few years that my mother is a narcissist. If you are unsure what this means, here is a quick definition: "Typically, narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and are particularly threatened by their children's growing independence.[1] This results in a pattern of narcissistic attachment, with the child considered to exist solely to fulfill the parent's wishes and needs.[2] A common tactic of narcissistic parent is to control their children with threats and emotional abuse. Relative to developmental psychology, narcissistic parenting will adversely affect children in the areas of reasoning, emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes as they mature.[3] Within the realm of narcissistic parenting, personal boundaries are often disregarded with the goal of molding and manipulating the child to satisfy the parents’ expectations.[4]" (Definition from Wikipedia, link at bottom) I've struggled with this as I have tried to come to terms with my mom's behaviour and the way she treats me. Almost everyday there is some type of anger towards me for some reason, and if I react in an angry way towards her, it turns into a huge guilt trip and ends with me apologizing as she demands. The other day I admit I did overreact and get angry with her for something, and when I did try to apologize, it was not good enough. She said the apology was "all about" me and not about what I did to her. Because I worded the apology as "I am sorry that I overreacted and raised my voice at you" it was about me. In her mind I should have said "I am sorry that I made you feel so bad about blah blah blah." ... so today I was supposed to visit with her, but I am not feeling well so I let her know that. I got this message from her ... "You can give the apology when you feel better. When that time comes if I have anything to say to you then you will listen respectfully and without any debate." So I have no say in anything, cannot have an opinion on her words, just have to take it and deal with it and that's that. Seem fair? I told her that is very arrogant and domineering of her to say. Obviously she didn't like that. She said "You owe me. I don't care what I sound like." I owe her? Yes, she is my mother, she gave me life. Yes, she raised me almost entirely on her own. Yes, I realize the things she has done for me in life. Does that give her the right to use me in order to try and have some control in her life and to use as someone to do what she wants and when she wants it? I don't believe so. She is demanding of my time and attention. If I go out to a store or for a day with my partner she makes me feel bad for not asking her to go. She is demanding of my time and energy. But I can't just throw her away or toss her aside. She is my mother. So I am trying to learn how other people who have the same experience deal with it. There is no escaping, she lives in my basement suite and we would not be able to afford this house without her contribution so we need to make this work. I feel bad writing all of this but no one she or I know in real life will see this so at least there's that ... and I needed to get it out. Edit: I found this quote in an article, and it explains perfectly ... "She speaks proudly of you, like you are her possession. People are wary, but usually duped, by her great show of affection for you in public. In private, you’re the scum of the earth. Sounding familiar?" https://www.yourtango.com/.../12-ways-your-narcissistic... (Photo belongs to me.)