Am I selfish?
By Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
Davao, Philippines
June 13, 2019 11:03am CST
I was hurt when the boyfriend told me I’m selfish for not wanting him to go abroad. I told him the reason that I can’t live if he is away from me for he is my life. He said that he is making this decision for us and for himself while he is still young and able. I know that this is not his dream and that he is just jealous of some of his work mates who applied abroad. But most of them come back because they can’t stand the missing part there.
Thinking about it now makes me sick more and I think if he goes away, I die. I want to make clear that if he really want it he needs to arrange our marriage. Until now, I still don’t know what’s in his head. But I want to push it no matter what happens.
Am I selfish?
15 people like this
18 responses
@marguicha (215441)
• Chile
13 Jun 19
It is very hard to be away of the person you love. But in your case, it is harder. You are not being selfish, love
2 people like this
@amitkokiladitya (171936)
• Agra, India
13 Jun 19
No..not at all. We all have the right to think about ourselves
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
13 Jun 19
@amitkokiladitya
And that is not living me.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171936)
• Agra, India
13 Jun 19
@JustBhem just think and do what is wise for you
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
14 Jun 19
Meet halfway in your disagreement. As to what is the halfway that is between the two of you. I also do not think you are selfish but I think that you should hear him out the reason why and let him hear you out. Weigh in what the two of you think of each others opinion.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
13 Jun 19
I wouldn't want the person I loved to be far away from me either unless there is no choice.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
13 Jun 19
@JustBhem I hope you can come to a happy agreement for both of you.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
13 Jun 19
@1hopefulman
We need to talk this through.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
14 Jun 19
Depends.
What are the benefits of taking the job abroad? Will it bring in more money? That money could help you with your medical support, is that why he applied?
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
15 Jun 19
@JustBhem
Are there any other benefits of going abroad though? Will they pay him board and stay, in addition to a bigger salary?
Have you two discussed about getting married?
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
15 Jun 19
@infatuatedbby
I told him about it.
That is my passes to him, but I don’t know. I still don’t know what in his mind right now.
And I think he is having a hard time too.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Jun 19
His main reason is that he is so jealous of his work mates going abroad after spending 5 years working in 911.
Second is he wants to help his Family, when in fact they are not even living the hard way, his both parents still has a job. And I’m his 3rd priority.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 Jun 19
I think you can live without him but I understand you don't want to.
Hopefully, he will change his mind.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 Jun 19
@JustBhem You go through so much every day and the strength God gives you is amazing and inspiring to many. You can do this-no matter what he does!
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Jun 19
Thank you for uplifting my spirit @LovingMyBabies.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36442)
• Toccoa, Georgia
13 Jun 19
No, you are not selfish. I would feel the same way.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
14 Jun 19
Probably he wants to earn more so he can help you out with your treatment and medicine. If that's the reason, then it's a good one but the problem is that he's the only one whom comes to your aid when you need help, especially in accompanying and even watching over you in the hospital. Both of you need to meet halfway at a common ground.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
15 Jun 19
@JustBhem You're welcome. I hope you both arrive at a common ground.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
15 Jun 19
@sunrisefan
I know there will be time we need to talk this all out. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
13 Jun 19
I don't think you are being selfish, you are just stating what is important to you.
I hope you find an arrangement that is suited to you both
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Jun 19
Thanks. I know in every problem there is also a solution. @FayeHazel
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Jun 19
@JustBhem Sometimes that is difficult - sometimes people don't want to understand anyone else's viewpoint but I will hope that all goes well and you come up with a solution that suits you both
1 person likes this
@didinedhia (8475)
• Algeria
14 Jun 19
@JustBhem because that's what you should think!
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
16 Jun 19
No, I don't think you are selfish, you just love him very much...and that is so sweet 
