Distracting myself from thinking the worse.....
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
Banks, Oregon
July 26, 2019 12:22am CST
Saw this meme today and this is me, this is my constant find a distraction to keep yourself from thinking.
I am so tired of feeling so emotional for the last few months I've cleaned out entire house, including the attic, painted my room, the kitchen and the living room, cleaned off our porch.
Started reading a new book, continued wrong my novel, binge watched TV shows, ate everything, and now I've just about ran out of things....
I'm currently full time caregiver to my grandma but I feel like as much as I love my grandma and would do anything for her, I feel like I'm losing my mind here, she loved it at the rehab facility even when she thought she'd hate it but she missed us.
I wish I could get her to agree she needs to be there, or else we need to find someone else to share responsibilities with me, as I can't be stuck at home everyday I'm losing my mind.
12 people like this
12 responses
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom It sounds like she needs to be in an assisted living home at least. I hope you can persuade her since her doctor had to assure her release with fulltime care.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
@just4him yes I'm trying to congregate a family meeting so we can fully discuss her long time care this is ok for now but we need to understand the future and my needs aswell I love my grandma more then life itself but I can only do so much and there is so much she won't allow me.to do for her
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
No she definitely needs 24 hr care and she still has all her mental faculties and it will always be her choice we are never gonna throw her in a home and leave her.... But the doctors did not want her to come home and only released her with insurance she wasn't left alone, and she has a physical therapist out twice a week, a doctor out every other week, bed bath person once a week, and nurse for her blood draw once a week.... It's care she could have in a home.i am not a nurse and am only equipped for so much
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@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
Not yet thankfully she still has all her wits about her my family agreed as long as she is still all there she has every right to remain at home....
2 people like this
@Janet357 (75638)
•
26 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom it is still.different when your loved ones take care of you.
you are such a good grandson.
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
@Janet357 it's hard emotionally she scared us recently as they had her taking to much medication her body wasn't used to it and she started hallucinating but it stopped and wer were insured it was just the medication she isn't going crazy :(
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
26 Jul 19
This is exactly how it is for me when I'm angry or sad . . . I try to stay busy - else I will go into zombie mode physically and be stuck in my brain. I think it's actually good to stay busy by being productive - at least things get done! It is a lot on your shoulders to be a full time caregiver - it's not just a job but a labor of love for your grandma - in your thoughts 24/7. I hope things can work out so you can have your life back too.
2 people like this
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom I hope the solution can be found very soon 
.
.1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
Thank you I am praying for patience till a solution can be found
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35030)
• Philippines
26 Jul 19
I'm glad you did some cleaning and organizing. I will lose my mind too if I will do caregiving. What about your mom?
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
Mom works full time she originally was going to have to quit but I stepped in to be caregiver
@yoalldudes (35030)
• Philippines
27 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom That was really good of you.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12512)
• United States
1 Aug 19
Depending on insurance there are often various companies that send someone during the day to help out and that would give you a break. I know it's not easy caring for people all the time to the point where you have no life of your own. I know how you feel though, it's easier to escape your thoughts if you have them focused on something else. I have to do other things to take my mind off of things I'd rather not be thinking about. It's difficult. Just keep doing what you have to in order to keep your sanity and maybe find a way to split the caretaking between you and someone else. It shouldn't just be you all the time.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12512)
• United States
2 Aug 19
@chrissbergstrom That's understandable but it may be something she has to get used to if she wants to stay home you can't be expected to do everything you need a life too. My uncle had to go in a nursing home full time because he didn't want anyone to come into his home and he expected his son to take care of him full time because his son just retired and his son just couldn't do it anymore. He put him in the home and told him he did it to himself because he refused to let anyone come in and help him.
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Aug 19
It's hard because my Grandma is super paranoid at people she doesnt know nosing around her home.
1 person likes this
@yanzalong (19091)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 19
Try jogging outside either in the morning or afternoon.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
29 Jul 19
full-time caretakin' can sure weigh ya down. ya need time 'way, to go 'n get 'way from the responsibilities. either a family member 'r other paid caregiver could give ya such a break.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
1 Aug 19
@chrissbergstrom 'tis most diff'cult to do such full-time. very taxin' emotionally. i do hope ya figure somethin' out soon, hon. sounds's though ya could use a bit 'f downtime to regenerate.
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Aug 19
Yes, i think we might need to hire a caregiver or atleast hire a family member to be here with her.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
1 Aug 19
@chrissbergstrom
You are right. It is all getting to you. There has to be someone to take over for you. You time away and time to yourself.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222285)
• United States
26 Jul 19
Is there someone who can give you a break? How about Tim? Could he handle it? You need to get out once and a while.
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 Jul 19
My brother will check on her and help some if needed when we go to town for a quick trip but he doesn't want to help with caregiving duties
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