Who deals with the baggage?

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This post was inspired by a post from @Happy2BeMe. She says to "cherish your loved ones because they could be taken too soon." I believe this to be true, but sometimes (as in my case) there is another side to this. My mother and I did not have the best of relationships. We were close when I was a child but I don't know when or how things changed between us but they did. My mother became very judgemental of me, criticizing my every decision. She was narcissistic to an extreme. I tried reasoning with her, tried to find a happy medium in our relationship where love could flow, but I failed to do so. It seemed that she didn't even try because she couldn't admit there was problem. It will be 5 yrs this halloween day since her death from a stroke. When she was on her deathbed, my daughter and I visited her and were at her side when we could be. When I tried to hug her and comfort her she waved me away. Didn't want me there at all. She embraced my daughter and everyone else in the room, but brushed me aside. She died without letting me say goodbye. I feel that there is some unfinished business between us that needs to be cleared before I can move on. Because I was willing to try while she was alive, I don't see how it is my baggage to deal with. The issues were obviously hers and she refused to deal with them even on her deathbed. It would be easier for me to forgive if I knew the reasons for these issues.