When God Doesn't Make Sense- (pt 3)The Sorrow

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As I had revealed in the first two posts, our family was over the moon when we found out that our daughter (who wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant) got pregnant with a baby girl. It was after the gender reveal, the pregnancy became so real and we fell in love with a little one we had never met. My daughter, of course, got to experience her life. She felt her move. She saw the heartbeat on ultrasounds. Her daddy laid his head on my daughter's stomach every night and told their unborn baby, "daddy loves you; you are gonna be a daddy's girl". We found out the gender in July and all we had to do was wait til December to welcome a new grand baby. My daughter had her miracle pregnancy. She had ran into a few complications and was on partial bed rest through the pregnancy, but every check-up revealed the baby was progressing well. Two weeks after the gender reveal, we got the call that my daughter was driving herself to the ER. Her husband had been contacted and was on the way. My youngest daughter and I jumped into the car and headed to the hospital. My daughter was met at the ER by my son who had just left his wife at the OBGYN. She was having her final checkup before their son was to be born that week. We found out that my daughter had gone to lay down and rest. She had been decorating the nursery, getting everything just perfect. She felt ok for the most part, but just had the need to go rest. As she was resting, her water broke. By the time she got to the ER, there was no amniotic fluid left. The baby's heartbeat and movement were still strong, though. The doctor told her that it was possible to build up enough fluid again for the baby to survive. If this happened, they would keep Angel in the hospital for 2 weeks and then take the baby early. If she could just hold on for two weeks, our sweet Ivey Nicole would have a chance of survival. The doctors placed IV's in my daughter's arm and began pumping her with fluid. The family all gathered. We all prayed. We all hoped. That night, though, we were devastated as my precious baby girl and her husband received the news that there baby girl had not made it. The final ultrasound revealed no movement and no heartbeat. The worst feeling in the world is when a mommy can't fix things for their babies. I have, pretty much, always been able to step in and help my kids with the issues of life. I couldn't do anything to help this time. All I could do was hold her as she cried and then step back and watch my baby girl's heart break. All I could do was watch her hurt. I feel the pain again, even as I type this. We had so many questions. We question the doctors and we questioned God. It just wasn't fair. The next day, my baby had to go through a labor and delivery and deliver her dead baby. As tiny as Ivey was, it was still a very difficult delivery with several complications. My girl made it through and she hasn't been the same. She has had days that worried us all. Christmas was so bad for her because she was suppose to be getting a daughter for the holiday, instead, she and her husband finally went into the nursery and took everything down. She is fragile emotionally, recovering physically, and skeptical mentally. On the other hand, she has an unshakable faith. Yes, she still questions God. Yes, she still hurts and gets angry. But she also chooses to trust God. She shares her story, and tells everyone that "God is good, even when we don't understand". The doctors have no explanation as to what caused her to go into labor early. We have no answers period. It just happened. Could God have stopped it? Of course, He could have. But all we can do is trust He knows the big picture. I am sure many of you have faced life circumstances that seem impossible to handle or to overcome. There may never be a clear answer. My sweet Angel and her husband, Lane, are proof that one can still find peace and hope in the Savior.