I Woke Up With Yesterday's Tears On My Face

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This morning I got up ... you know how it is when the day before has things in it that hurt you deeply. You aren't sure how to react, to feel relieved or cry more ... I am relieved and I am crying more. Have you ever loved somebody, a pet with your very Heart ... sacrifice for them giving years of your life to make all alright? Then ... to only have to 'let go' when all you've done is fight to hold onto your loved person or pet? One day the time comes when so much happens you realize it isn't only you hurting, suffering ... you have to let go. You do have to make a change ... a positive change so your life can go on. This has happened in my life ... I've had double bypass surgery and no one knows how I have tried so hard to keep my world together. My world being Skip and our 3 dogs I call the Pups3. This morning ... there's only the Pups2. The fighting couldn't continue, yesterday's fight was the last. I had to take Dukester to the shelter. I had no choice. I had 2 other dogs/babies who have been afraid to walk, move around for fear he'd attack them. We've given in to show Dukester nothing but, pure love for 3 years. We still love him with our Hearts. I was in really bad shape yesterday ... so, was Skip. We both have been battling our own medical conditions and all of this has affected us, our babies. There's a lady who has been interested in Dukester. I told her what happened. She is going to check today to see what is what. Would you say prayers for Dukester and this beautiful person we feel like is meant for Dukester ... to bond together? She knows all about him, his history ... his likes, dislikes as we've been talking for some time. She will go to meet him. I pray he'll go home with her. Something just makes us feel she is perfect for him, he is perfect for her. Today's tears are running down my face at this moment. That's okay because when you love with your very Heart this is what happens. I know each day will get better for our Pups2, us as time goes by. Sometimes making a positive change in one's life hurts so bad ... so bad that it's hard to actually commit to that change. It's hard to put one's foot down and say, this has to stop. Through the night I have watched our Kissy trying to walk ... the fight was bad. It hurt him and he's had surgery on his leg in the past. As I watched I knew I should have already made the decision some time ago. All I wanted to do was to keep my whole world together. I couldn't. Now ... I'm left to pick up the shattered pieces. I will ... because I learned when my son, only child died ... life is going on whether you like it or not. You either begin to go toward the light in a good way or go deeper into the darkness in a bad way ... become whole again because others depend on you or ... take the easy way out by never seeing again. Skip, the Pups2 ... need, depend on ME. I don't have time to stay in the darkness anymore. Know this at the same time this is traumatic to me ... that Dukester is a wonderful dog, full of pure love. He just isn't meant to live in a home with other dogs. He needs to be 'the only child'. I understand ... though I had siblings ... I was the only child in a sense. We never grew up together at the same time. Today is a new day ... I will make good things happen. I don't have to jump at every noise afraid a fight is going to break out ... so many things I don't have to do now. I'm just beginning to realize this morning how I have walked on eggshells for the past 3 years ... only because I've loved with my very Heart. Yesterday's tears are gone ... new tears have taken their places. The positive is that everything is going to be alright ... yes, it will take time to get used to this major change in our life. Loving hurts so bad ... yet, Dukester left here for his new life knowing such love he never-ever knew before. He only needs his one person who will make him priority ... he is an 'only child'. He doesn't know any better. Would you say prayers for this beautiful lady and Dukester? We sense she is perfect for him. We have talked for some time ... she knows his history unlike most people who go to adopt a pet. She loves him already, I feel that. Now ... it's time to go forward in a positive way. I know good things will come for Dukester, and for us. It 'feels' like it. Thank God Dukester knows what love is ... he just needs his very own home to love, protect.