Avoid Comparison of Children's Way of Development
By Metatronik
@Metatronik (6198)
Pasay, Philippines
March 14, 2020 6:04am CST
Children are different in personality, characteristics, attitude, progress, intelligence and way of development. Just like adults or other people we are all different. This is why we should avoid comparing the babies, toddlers or children when it comes to intelligence, emotion or what first is developing.
Most mothers I know especially the first time parents, they are bothered right away in terms of verbal. Like if the other babies can talk while their own kid is not yet talking or even a conversational one, they tend to panic right away in which they are thinking that there is something wrong with their child. But that is not the case there are kids that re delayed talker or even late for being conversational in which I find it normal. That is what I observed to my daughter but then she is excelling in school. There are other strengths that a parent did not recognize to her child it can be in spatial, creativity or more on kinetics and sports.
We should analyze the strength of our kid not just the weaknesses or what is not yet develop in which this is to avoid the self esteem of our kid. You'll never know if we let our kid feel he or she has a problem this he or she will be also grow up that suffer the self esteem.
2 people like this
3 responses
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
14 Mar 20
This is what is the biggest parenting issue at present. Parents juts can't stop comparing their kids.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6198)
• Pasay, Philippines
14 Mar 20
I think it was the problem ever since even in old generation they tend to compare the kids, so no wonder why kids are growing up with self esteem issues or even with complicated issues in life.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
14 Mar 20
@Metatronik I completely agree..somehow I missed realising it. And this comparison always lead to the lack of self confidence. Even siblings should never be compared
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6198)
• Pasay, Philippines
14 Mar 20
@amitkokiladitya Yes siblings should not be compared because it will be the cause of siblings rivalry or even family feud. Yet it may also cause the inheritance conflict especially if they are well off. It can happen
1 person likes this
@Pandy_ (800)
• Sydney, Australia
14 Mar 20
i agree with you. all children are different with different skills and learning abilities and its wrong to compare can cause stress to the child as they grow up if parents are making comparisons the child would feel like they are not matching up and rather them be a different child i feel in particular comparing a childs masculine and feminine traits in regards to their gender can make them feel unable to be their true self if girl likes playing army men do not tease same if boy likes playing dress up i learnt this from my own experience brings on shame to the child where as they were happy playing
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6198)
• Pasay, Philippines
14 Mar 20
Giving shame would only prevent them to discover themselves that they are different and project their own version of themselves. They might be creative but not given a chance to recognize just because some people are putting that person down. Some people are pushy and even pressuring a person to be like someone else in which this is too horrifying.
@Pandy_ (800)
• Sydney, Australia
15 Mar 20
@Metatronik i agree this is where children start to hide their true self to fit in not just with other children but family as well and develop large confidence issues depression
they dont get the free space to learn who they are as a person and creativity without someone shoving expectations down the throat it is unfair
personal story i was always more feminine i felt shame growing up in the era as strict standards of gender but it the boundaries were being pushed by flamboyant icons like actors musicians and i remember being in awe
@pitsipeahie (5758)
•
14 Mar 20
One must understand that children develops at their own pace and in their own way. They grow and develop in different rates; some may be a little ahead while others may be a little behind.
@Metatronik (6198)
• Pasay, Philippines
14 Mar 20
This is the reason why I never listened to others that I should send my daughter to the developmental pedia just because she is a delayed talker. I know it for a fact that I just need patience.
@Metatronik (6198)
• Pasay, Philippines
15 Mar 20
@pitsipeahie Actually when I enrolled her in Pre Kinder I was told by teachers that her speech is just normal, they are only concern usually in learning the reading and writing then the verbal follows or just easy to do. I was told by my mom's student which is also a teacher or even have own school that they have grade 1 student that is now proficient in verbal. This is the reason why I wasn't worry about it, and now she is little by little being conversational. She is good in phrases. The pedia once told me that she may be confuse of the bi lingual language of both Filipino and English. I just taught her first the English because this is more hard to adapt compare to our native tongue Filipino or Tagalog.
@pitsipeahie (5758)
•
14 Mar 20
@Metatronik But make sure to find out if your child is really just a late bloomer or has speech delay. Identify too if its speech or language delay. Developmental delays may be short term or it can also be a sign of a long term problem. Trust your instinct, you know your child best but don't be too complacent either your child's future here is also at stake.
