Angry?????

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Anger Management When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear: "Get the right F#*@~king number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with Robert, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled: "You're a B#*@~ard" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'B#*@~ard next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a B#*@~ard!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "B#*@~ard" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, “That's because you're a B#*@~ard” One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in an old but beautiful Ford Mustang car cut me off, and pulled into the parking spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first B#*@~ard (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Ford Mustang B#*@~ard, too. I said, "Is this the man with the Ford Mustang for sale?" "Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked. "Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, Croydon, London. It's a white house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed." "Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Steve, you're a B#*@~ard!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two A@***holes to call. Then one day I came up with BRILLIANT idea. I called B#*@~ard Number One. "Hello?" "You're a B#*@~ard" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Steve Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "I live at 129 Alice Street, Croydon, London. A white house, with my beautiful Ford Mustang parked out the front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, B#*@~ard," and hung up. Then I called B#*@~ard Number Two. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, B#*@~ard," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..........." "You'll do what?" I said. "I'll kick your @*ss," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, B#*@~ard, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Croydon, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the "hoodie" war going down in Alice Street, Croydon . I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two B#*@~ards beating the Sh**t out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a News crew. Now I feel MUCH better. Take it from me, anger management really works... HeHeHeHe (Hope it made you laugh as much as I did when I heard it)