Who Cares?

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I woke up with a scared feeling in the pit of my stomach this morning. The longer I stayed up, the worse it became. I told Skip I needed to lay down ... go back to sleep. I did lay back down ... just like when I lost my son ... I entered the darkness where all is quiet, soft enough so, I couldn't feel any pain. Normally ... I don't go to bed during the day ... at all. Last night I kept waking up ... restless, worried. I care with my Heart for what is happening. That's just ME ... I am like that. I have such a caring Heart for everyone ... suffering. Animals that suffer. Sometimes ... I can't bear to watch the commercials depicting dogs that are trapped, tortured on big chains, and such. I want to cry my very Heart out. I will always be like this ... no need to say don't be like that. It is just like every breath I take ... I have to. Our world has become sick ... has come to almost a halt ... brought down to its knees by an invisible enemy. We can't see this enemy ... can't fight it with guns, physical force. We can't draw up a peace treaty for it. The human spirit has come alive ... more and more people are uniting together to help the sick, feed the hungry, help the helpless. They have time now to look around them ... really see people. People they ordinarily pass by never seeing, knowing because life has become so fast-paced. No time to stop, speak to the other. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Sadly ... bad things have to happen to shake us out the world we take for granted. Shake us out they do. I always go back to the worse that could happen in my life because after that, nothing is worse than that ... to me ... the death of my son. It's how I compare things when I need to go on ... 'if I can make it through my only child's death' ... I can make it through anything. Truthfully ... I know how close I came to being with him ... when I couldn't bear to live with such knowledge inside ME ... it was so much bigger than I. To ME ... what could be worse than that? So now ... this has happened. We had 9-11 happen. Since ... most all my family members I loved with my very Heart have died. You would think I wouldn't ever hurt again. Never cry again for all the tears I have silently shed. You would think ... you would think wrong. I never stop caring ... I care with my very Heart for all going on in our world today. My Hearts hurts for all the people who are risking their lives to keep the world going ... saving lives ... for their families who worry, care about them. I care for all the people who are sick, dying ... their loved ones who watch on helplessly while an invisible enemy strikes. Not only are they in shock ... when their loved ones die ... they can't go to funerals. They can't be there when their loved ones die ... they have to die alone. Now ... it's coming to having the order 'do not resuscitate' when someone dies in hospitals. They will have to decide who lives, dies ... the strongest survives. Whether we like it or not ... Life has always been like that. Something like this shows us. Who cares? Many care ... I care.