This is long but I hope i inspire you with My Journey In Losing Weight...

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What I am gonna share is something that I am embarrassed and somewhat proud but not embarrassed again in some ways....hahaha When I was a baby I wasn't really that big but we loved eating. So growing up I kinda have quite gained some weight. So my mom enrolled me in dancing. I did Ballet (i was friends with famous ballerinas like Lisa Macuja, Sofia Radaic and so on), I took Jazz as well. That's in my younger years. Well I guess I had problems in my hormones and embarrassed to continue dancing and so I stopped. Then over the years i got bigger and bigger. I looked disgusting and I despised myself in my younger years. I even became heavier when i started working in fine dining restaurants too. That time my parents were already very furious because they way I wan't taking care of myself. My hormones were not normal anymore to the point things turned bad. My confidence was really low and i felt I was the ugliest and no pretty clothes could fit me. Even my shoes was specially made. The heaviest weight i reached was 280 lbs. Imagine, I am small, literally round, no neck. I looked like a roly poly or lumba-lumba or big whale. I was called names by different people. I was made fun of by people but I kept it inside because it was humiliating. The only praises i received was I was a good cook/baker but other than that.... none. :'( Then in 2002, this is when something tragic happened to me. I just came from my cooking class, then i was feeling different. I felt like i was floating. I ignored it and moved on. After my class, I felt something strange, it wasn't normal anymore. While walking I was literally dragging my foot and I was at the verge of fainting. Good thing i was still able to find a cab to take me home. Honestly, I don't remember how I got home....hahaha. The only thing I remembered was I told the driver bring me here, that's all. I know my eyes were closed because I could hardly open it. Then the driver said, ma'am were here. When I opened my eyes I was surprised because he brought me exactly where I lived. I was surprised. And I asked God, Lord, was that you who brought me home? I was still confused. When I got in I told my mom, Ma, i feel like I am floating i feel like I was dragging myself awhile ago. Then she asked our tenant to take my bp (blood pressure ). Believe it or not it reached 280/180, actually it could not be read anymore by bp app anymore. Then my mom brought me to our neighboring cardio doctor. He said you're just so lucky you didn't have a heart attack because I had to vices but you're a perfect candidate for stroke. How did I feel? My legs was experiencing cramps that was ascending to your spines then to your neck and head, the feeling you are going to be paralyzed. Then my vision of you" You're just a silhouette to me. At that time we had a new helper, instead of making her do errands at home she was made to look after me. I felt useless and I could hardly stand. I was just crying and praying. From that moment, I told my mom to make our helper prepare my food. I was only eating apples, crackers, oatmeal, no salt and no sugar. I'd ask our helper to bring me to Church across our house/pharmacy. Oh btw, we used to own a pharmacy back then. I was bedridden that time and my condition lasted for I guess 2-3months, i guess. Then when I was a bit better I started going to they gym for aero... I was not yet allowed to carry weight but at home I would dance for 2hours. For 3-4 months, I lost 100 lbs. I went down to 180lbs . It was drastic because i did some crash diet . By 2003, I finally was able to go to work. I got into the academe world. Then in one of our events, I met this lady , she was super nice. She was a fitness consultant. She encouraged me to go to the gym. It was a prestigious gym and so i gave it a try and I got myself a PT (personal trainer). I followed a strict diet and I did circuit training with my trainer. Believe it or not the lowest weight I've reached was 110-115lbs. On the sides I had toning machines. Eventually and unfortunately I nwas told to teach culinary and I gained again. I now weigh 158. And I am doing workouts. When my cousin (derma) saw me and checked on me, I asked if there was a way to remove my loose skin coz I lost a lot, she said I needed a surgery....i said no way!!!! What will I do? It is just so sad at this time we are on a lock since March, unfortunately we are all out of work. How can I save up now for sessions of the toning machine? But I am still trying to lose more. My target is to reach again maybe 110lbs. Now, I have realized we need to take care of ourselves. Let's love yourselves. What else can you suggest?