SSI

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I'm finding myself in a difficult position where I cannot hold a regular job. Experts have told me I need to go apply for SSI yet I find myself resistant. 1) if I do so then I am kind of giving up hope for myself to keep working or trying, 2) I CAN do some things, just keeping a regular job isn't among them. I'm bringing in almost enough money to pay rent without help, just not bills food, etc. 3) There is a social stigma attached to being on SSI. I don't really give much of a care for the last reason but the others are harder to overcome. Oh and add to that I am not supposed to be stressed at all and the red taepe is VERY stressing.