Love Or Obsession?
By Sunshine
@Femiyuniar (30)
Bandung, Indonesia
June 4, 2020 4:56am CST
When you still love him but you must leave him, cause when you loved him you get more anxiety. Thats never be fair for the both of us i always distrustful to him and he will never secure around me. I do love him but i guess it's just my obsession, right?
Its hard living in the doubt. Try to fix it, try to trust people again but its never the same. How to against this feeling?
11 people like this
12 responses
@a_jerobon (2304)
• Eldoret, Kenya
4 Jun 20
I have ever been in that situation and I recently learnt that it was just an obsession and not love. Take your time, do some self improvement. With time, it will just be a memory and you won't be that emotionally attached and anxious with him anymore.
1 person likes this
@a_jerobon (2304)
• Eldoret, Kenya
5 Jun 20
@Femiyuniar I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@Femiyuniar (30)
• Bandung, Indonesia
4 Jun 20
Thank you for motivation :) recently, i gain myself improvement. i hope i will be fine without him.
1 person likes this
@Miracle_Maya (2244)
• India
4 Jun 20
I can understand your feelings and confusion very well. I know it's a terrible feeling but in most of the cases, a love relationship has to cross this battle to reach a milestone of deep understanding and trust.
When two people get into a love relationship the focus and attention is centered around just the two of them. This is tht honeymoon period, if I may call it that. However, once they get over this period, other things draw their attention and many challenging situations present themselves. To break up and say good bye is an easier option during this phase but practically speaking, it's just not possible to fall in love and maintain an ever lasting relationship with anyone if you can't handle this phase. It's vital for both of you to get over this insecurity and start caring for each other's happiness. If you can manage this phase of love, you will definitely form a strong bond where nothing looks bigger than your love itself.
If you ask me, I'd say, when situations become very tight, stop talking, take a break and do some self introspection rather than walking away and making all this time of togetherness totally meaningless. Take a break from each other for a few days or weeks but don't break up the relationship if it really means a lot to you. Good luck! I hope everything will get better for you very soon 
1 person likes this
@Femiyuniar (30)
• Bandung, Indonesia
4 Jun 20
Thank you for beautiful words. Yes i can't handle myself at the time. I was so regret. he's still care of me, he's good listener at all but the issues had come, he's just not that into me after one year together, he said we were just friends no more no less. I dont know why his changed, but he said he just lost interest in all aspect, he forgetten his dream postgraduate, etc. But i just have trust issues with him because he is still looking other girls, i knew when i see that in his social media. Im not his girlfriend but that's make me sad cause we are like couple in one year. What did i do wrong?
1 person likes this
@Miracle_Maya (2244)
• India
5 Jun 20
@Femiyuniar You already have realized where you need to work more to strengthen your relationship May be he is also in the same boat where he feels to break up when he is frustrated but keeps coming back as he loves you deeply.
Once you feel the situation is back to normal between you two, I feel you both should talk it out from your heart, keeping your egos aside. It's OK to fight but what's more important is the comeback and what we learnt from it.
Try to know if he is just doing it out of frustration or if he really isn't interested in you. Once you make this clear to yourself, you will know which way to go. If he is genuinely not interested then it's best not to force yourself on him which will only worsen things between you two.
May be he is also in the same boat where he feels to break up when he is frustrated but keeps coming back as he loves you deeply.
Once you feel the situation is back to normal between you two, I feel you both should talk it out from your heart, keeping your egos aside. It's OK to fight but what's more important is the comeback and what we learnt from it.
Try to know if he is just doing it out of frustration or if he really isn't interested in you. Once you make this clear to yourself, you will know which way to go. If he is genuinely not interested then it's best not to force yourself on him which will only worsen things between you two.
@nawala123 (20852)
• Indonesia
4 Jun 20
I am sorry to say, but based on many people experince usually elder or married people, it is more about commitment
1 person likes this
@Femiyuniar (30)
• Bandung, Indonesia
4 Jun 20
Maybe you're right he just not that's into me and didn't want have committed with me. He said we are just friends no more no less after one years together like couple :')
1 person likes this
@unsulliedcatt (278)
• Philippines
4 Jun 20
If the guy didn’t want you then let him be. Don’t chase people. Focus on yourself. Improve to be a better version of you. You also need to heal the woulds the guy caused you....
1 person likes this
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
8 Jun 20
Trust is very important. I imagine your partner committed infidelity. But again, love is kind and patient. Love can forgive. I understand your anxiety, but there is nothing wrong of giving another chance. Just think of all the positive things he did to you versus the negative things which can only be counted by one or two fingers. But if he already abuse you emotionally and physically, that is no longer healthy and you must give up him for the better of you.
@jayanth_77 (7180)
• India
4 Jun 20
If you love some one then accept the shortcomings else forget the relationship. You need to leave your obsession and think you need to continue or leave the relationship.
@jayanth_77 (7180)
• India
4 Jun 20
@Femiyuniar Just be friends as he wanted. Find someone better if you want to settle down and get married.
@Femiyuniar (30)
• Bandung, Indonesia
4 Jun 20
I accepted their shortcoming. I love him sincerely. But he want we are just friend no more no less after one years together like couple. Im not his girlfriend but i want more than his friends.
1 person likes this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
5 Jun 20
Anxiety is not healthy.
Trust and security issues are not good.
You know its broken and it wont fix.
Move on
Be Happy
You dont sound happy now.
@Lavanya15 (12888)
• Chennai, India
4 Jun 20
In my opinion if both have love no one possible to break you.. But if you don't have love not possible to close you.. Almost are depends on your feelings lol.
1 person likes this
