I'm Late For Everything

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We human are not luck writer of our own. But our deeds decide our luck. But sometimes we feel so helpless that we can't change our luck the way we want it. So many of us try for the top position or result in exam, study all year long but there will be one who will win. This is luck of course there hard work also required for achievements. Sometimes I feel broken inside that my life seems late for everything and I'm so helpless to change it. Friends with me now spending a happily married life with kids and I always was / is in love with someone I shouldn’t and at the end its over. People cheated on me and when I realized I moved on. Now I'm engaged with someone who is very good, honest but unable to marry because his family have high ambitions and he also have. But i don't have! So this time I'm with a man who is also unfit for me, last time I was cheated but i'm thankful that I didn’t compromise my self respect and dignity. Most of the relationship means physical contact but I'm glad that I didn’t allow it before getting married. If some other strong, smart and good girl will be in my place she must choose a right person as better half but I'm so fool that I can't move on because I'm emotionally touched with fake people and I can't think selfish. I can't move on. I don't deserve a better life because I'm an orphan (mom no more, father physically alive but his responsibilities died since 2009) so my life is like a floating boat, I'm late for everything, I don't have family and I'll never gonna have a family. I have to sink like this till the end of my life. Sorry guys, if this make you upset but this is the life of an orphan girl.