First Person vs Third Person...Which is Better?
By Jordan Lader
@JordanLader (7406)
Sparta, Tennessee
September 21, 2020 7:15am CST
I have never been good at describing points of view so I hope I'm getting this right.
I started writing my story in the first person. Sometimes I think it's easier and sometimes it's not.
Then I rewrote it in the third person and now I have a dilemma.
Which one sounds better? I have both versions because I'm so torn. I thought that I would keep writing third person until either I don't like it anymore or other hate it more than me lol.
Version 1:
Running. That’s all I do is run through the forest. I don’t know if I’m running towards something or away. I can feel my heart beat pounding in my chest. It feels like it’s ready to burst out at any moment. The moon is full above me, lighting my way to a place unknown. The air is dead, there’s not even the slightest stirring of air though I know my feet should be kicking up dust. I can smell just a hint of water, as if a small lake or river were miles away and it wants to make it’s presence known. I just have to keep running, no matter the fact that I’m running on fumes. My breath ragged and getting thinner with every step, yet I know that if I stop, my life will be over. Good or bad as the past ten years have been, I’m not ready for it to be over yet.
Version 2:
Running. That's all Jordan Lobos can do is run through the forest, she doesn’t even know what forest she’s in. Jordan can’t seen to figure out if she is running towards something or away. She can feel her heart beat pounding in her chest. Boom! Boom! It feels like it's ready to burst out of her chest at any moment. The moon is full above her, lighting her way to a place unknown. The air is dead, there's not even the slightest stirring of air though she knows her feet should be kicking up dust as she runs as fast as she can. Jordan can smell just a hint of water, as if a small lake or river were miles away and it wants to make it's presence known. She just has to keep running, no matter the fact that she’s running on fumes and those fumes are starting to run low. Her breath is ragged and getting thinner with every step, yet she knows that if she stops, her life will be over. Good or bad as the past ten years have been, Jordan’s just not ready for it to be over yet.
I only shared the first paragraph because I don't want to post too much plus I cuss and this site doesn't like that. I never realized how hard it would be to censor myself until I joined this site.
What do you think?
*picture is off wattpad, what I'm using as my story's cover
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