What I'm i excited about?
December 9, 2020 8:22am CST
what i'm i excited about exactly? well ever got memories that made you smile on the spot? well if so let me know down below so we can discuss. well i get those memories but it brings we back to some sort of dark place, so when they do arrive , i try my best to push back the thought , since it's all i can do. i sometimes wish i could forgrt my past and every other nightmare that happened in my life. i know most people rather remember their past but mine isn't something i want to remember and yes it made me a much better person.....which i want to keep on being but i don't like the memories......it's like i'm smiling one second and depress the other and i don't want to go back to that dark place where i once was. sometimes thing happen so we can move forward in life and i understand that quite well, which is why since i've moved forward ....i don't want a reminder in my head.... sometimes love makes you do bad things which are unforgivable inside your head ...right? can i relate to anyone? or i'm i just sounding crazy?
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I know exactly what you mean. Because my depression has been with me from a young age, and over half my life even my happy memories come tied with the depression at that time that caused problems and bring up the depression and thoughts I constantly have. So it's always tied to everything I can remember and for the most part, I just try not to focus too much on the memories when they come. Usually, just try and distract myself until I stop thinking about it. I'm sorry to hear that you've had hard times and you can't enjoy your memories. It is a difficult thing but like you said it has made you a better person so even in all that negativity there is positive to take from it and things to be happy about because of it. Try to remember that.